7/11/25 Gaslighting

I am at the cabin with Dan and Chris. I just went out in the pontoon. I also used another motorized vehicle that is an auxiliary. I go into the cabin and start washing the floor. I look out the window and see both the pontoon and the other vehicle floating away. It is a breezy day. I am on the phone with someone and abruptly say, “I have to go!” I he yell for Dan. He doesn’t hear me.

Now I see that the pontoon is brought back but put at the dock on the left and not on the right where it belongs. I get dressed into my bathing suit, a covering and my rubber shoes (ones I have been wearing in w.l.) I go to the dock. It is a young family that brought the pontoon back. There is a father, a mother and a couple of young kids. There is also one of the couple’s mother. I look at the pontoon and realize it is not the right one! It is basically an open body, not like the “Palm Beach”. (the pontoon at the Wisconsin cabin). The couple argue with me and act like I am wrong. The mother of one of the couple just stands off to the side. I say I will call the police. I start to go.

The scene changes. I am now in a boat on the water. There are all these buildings built on the shore. I am lost.

Is this about Kevin and Antonia? I feel like that is part of what has been happening in the past. I had started to wonder if what I know/feel is correct.

7/10/25 Snobby Man

There is a wealthy man who is with a young woman assistant. He lives in a penthouse. I am there. The man has a dog he bought from Sweden. The has some husky in him. At first he is on a chain and is not friendly. He is taken off the chain and then becomes friendly.

I have to tell this man the photos didn’t turn out. I have not done so yet. The man is very snobby. I am with someone. It could be Paul. We are to leave. I am missing a part of the book I am reading and I look for it. I tell the man and his assistant about it. (don’t know if I do find it).

The man’s friends come to visit. I go to the bathroom and lock the door.

I think the snobby man may represent my inner critic. I just listened to This Jungian LIfe about the inner critic. I have been very down on myself about messing up the group and family photos over the 4th of July. I got help from Wendell, a teacher I have from the photos club in AZ. He tried to find out what happened. He is stumped. If all the photos had the green florescent outlines that would be one thing, but half were fine. He did say that it wasn’t my fault, whatever. That helped me feel better. I then wrote to my sibs and explained everything. It was interesting how critical I was about the photos.

7/9/25 Visit with Becky

I am staying at Sheila and Rob’s house. It is an old house that has been renovated. (not their waking life one). Becky and Chris are there. They are upstairs in two different bedrooms. (this feels like Shady Oak).

We are all going for a walk that Sheila organized. It has something to do with politics (a protest?). I go to the bathroom. The toilet has overflowed. I get the plunger and empty the water in the toilet and on the floor. It doesn’t take long to do.

We are about to take off for the hike. Sheila says she has asked Becky to go. She is not there. I say I will go and see if she is coming. I go to her bedroom. She is not there.

The group of us take off for the walk with Sheila and another women in the lead. I notice the cute outfits Sheila and a few other women have on as well as what good physical shape they are in. I walk behind and apart from the whole group which feels good. Then we are all back from the walk. I see Becky talking with a man. The group is to have a discussion with Sheila related to the walk.

Scene changes. I am sitting with Becky and we are talking. I am about to tell her a story about Freya, but then forget it. I tell Becky I am worried about my memory.

A little scene where my sister, Sheila’s, grandson, Van (10 years old) has his ankles crossed backward while standing up. Sheila and I tease him and say that we should bring him to the circus!

Daynotes: Rough emotional week. I had a nice time at Sheila and Rob’s cabin with 28 members of the family. I took a group photo and some individual family photos. However, the group shot and two family photos have these green florescent lines around the people. I felt horrible that they were ruined. Half of the photos are fine. I am not sure why the other ones got wrecked. Also, grief came up for me this week about Kevin.