Shapeshifting: Three Lola Dreams

Several years ago, during one of Chris’ extended hospital stays (maybe his 2010 bout with sepsis, or his 2011 aortic dissection), Lola was suffering from severe cystitis. The vets that were caring for her at the time tested her and diagnosed her with early kidney failure. I disagreed. I had been feeding her a raw diet, which can skew kidney tests. They told me to start giving her daily subcutaneous fluid injections.

I tried that for a couple days but it was so difficult I ended up putting my head on the kitchen table and sobbing uncontrollably. I decided to find a vet that was open to alternative therapies, and began working with Minnetonka Animal Hospital. They agreed that there was no evidence of kidney disease.

I felt it likely that Lola’s time on the planet would be brief. Her infections would flair every 4 months. I went to see Marlene, the tarot reader that I have been seeing for many years, to ask her about Lola and other issues in my life.

Marlene said Lola would be around for awhile yet. She said that Lola’s energy field is very expansive. She is no ordinary feline. She is my familiar, and extremely sensitive. Her illness is related to her sensitivity. I thought that was intriguing information, and completely unverifiable.

Perhaps a year after the reading, I had a dream that felt lucid, wildly alert: I am seated on the ground under the white pines in the front yard. I can hear everything going on in the two nearest houses, especially the one right next door. I can hear my neighbor Heidi talking to her small children, and I hear their replies as if they are speaking into my ear. I hear every footstep, the shuffle and crackle of every piece of paper, every subtle sound. It took me a few months to understand that the dream was from Lola’s perspective. I was dreaming Lola’s dream.

Six months or so ago a dream fragment presented itself. I realized when I awoke that it was a message from Lola. She showed me the grassy sand dunes of Moore Lake, where I played with the neighborhood kids and where our cat Boots would hunt for ducks and muskrats. Boots and I were deeply connected. Lola told me, telepathically, that she had been Boots in a past life. Boots died a horrible death from poisoning, so perhaps if Lola is the reincarnation of Boots, her compromised immune system is a reflection of that. Who knows.

In October I had this dream: I have entered a living room where my friend Mary (Mother Mary!) is caring for her father, who has Alzheimer’s. My awareness is close to the floor. I can see all of the cat toys and dust bunnies under the sofa. When it is time for me to leave, I search the entryway for my shoes. I can find only one of my canvas flats. It has a pointed white toe.

This time it took only a few hours to connect this dream to Lola. I am her kitty mother and I do care for a man with dementia (Chris has cognitive impairment from his brain tumor 20 years ago). Lola has white toes on her rear paws.

Day notes:

I started writing this yesterday. At 5:30 this morning I had to take Lola to the emergency vet to be treated for another infection.

When I was at Peace Valley in the Ozarks I roomed with an animal communicator named Faun. She felt she already knew me from somewhere. Perhaps it is a good idea to ask her about Lola. I have been so distracted by Chris’ health issues I have not been in contact with anyone I met there.