(Monday, December 14, 2015) moon: waxing crescent Aquarius / tarot: Dreamer (Fool)
I enter the lobby of a large gymnasium or sports arena filled with people. I have wrapped myself in a scarlet silk comforter, and I am bare-breasted beneath the blanket.
My idol, the poet and musician Patti Smith, is talking to a small group of small, brown women, all of whom are very excited just to be in her presence. As am I. Patti turns to me and shares a few minutes worth of her brilliance and wisdom, the memory of which I have lost. I love the deep vibration of her warm voice. I love the power of her heart energy. Her humility.
I move on into the gym, which contains stacked wooden bleachers like a high school basketball court. I climb up to the very top row and sit next to my lover. He is famous among the fans in the arena, but in my dream I am not sure why, though I wrack my brains about it. I feel his affection for me. I should know who he is, but I don’t know who he is.
I am a bit anxious about my full, bare breasts, even though I am covering them with the comforter. The generous blanket also embraces an infant cradleboard, which lies at my feet. Like the comforter, the cradleboard is wrapped in scarlet silk, giving it the distinct appearance of a birth canal.
When I first peer into the cradleboard, I see Lola’s shiny black face and beautiful turquoise eyes. A bit later, when my lover and I look into the cradle, we see our baby’s little bald head deep down in the wrappings. Baby is fearful. We understand that our papoose needs to emerge from the cradleboard into the world, without fear and anxiety. Gradually our infant finds calm and courage and is able to rise to the top of the cradleboard. Our luminous, joyful bairn.
At this point I step down the steep bleachers to a locker room or dressing room on the main floor. Walter B from IASD is there, teaching a small class. We greet each other. We are good friends. I find my bra and clothing, dress myself without shyness, leaving the room, leaving the dream.
Day notes:
I have started reading a book by Joseph Chilton Pierce, whom I love. I read his book “Magical Child” when Cullan was an infant and it profoundly changed my ideas about mothering and babies.
One of the most amazing experiences of my life was seeing Patti Smith at First Avenue with Chris. I will never forget it. It was like she was channeling the most powerful possible energy through her frail body. We were right next to the stage. Chris and I recently listened to a podcast that Patti just published on iTunes. It made us both so happy.
The word “gymnasium” in German means high school.