(Friday, July 21, 2017) moon waning crescent Cancer / tarot ten of pentacles
This is very much a ten of pentacles dream.
It is twilight. The overhead sky is dark but the horizon glows. “Roaming in the gloaming.” Cullan and I are walking along the red road that leads to my grandmother’s farm. We see a “for sale” sign. $400,000 is the asking price.
“I have that!” I say. “I can get $400,000 for my house!” Cullan and I agree that we should bring this property back into our family. I am very excited and grateful. Grateful that I have the financial resources, grateful that the farm is back on the market. My heart has yearned to be in this place for many, many years. It still lives in the core of my being. As real as it was in my childhood.
We continue down the sand drive and see my cousins Tom Wolf and Pat Murphy working outside the barn, as they used to do every summer, decades ago.
We discuss the purchase with Tom and Pat. Other members of the family want the farm back, too, and are contributing funds. The cousins will be co-owners. As we should be. We are all overjoyed. The four of us embrace in a long, emotional hug.
Then Cullan and I walk up the short hill to inspect the old two-story farmhouse. We walk up the staircase and this portion of the dream is lucid. The bedroom at the top of the stairs is empty of furniture. No lights are turned on. The depression-era floral wallpaper shifts and floats near the baseboards, like sheets on a clothesline in a gentle breeze. Breathing in. Breathing out. Therefore in the dream I am aware that the wallpaper has been gone for over 40 years, and I also know that the house, the dream, is just a construct of my mind.
I wake up from this dream with such powerful emotions. The love between cousins is beautiful. I am happy to share that with my son.
The lucid component makes me feel very peaceful. Evidence of the mind’s formations is useful. Calming. Many of my dreams of the Sheehan farm have this exact same light source. Twilight with a luminous edge. Is this my personal clue about lucidity?
Day notes:
Cullan has found an apartment in the North Loop. He moves in September.
The book I am reading, “Dream Yoga,” advises that mindfulness meditation before sleep triggers lucidity. I meditated for 45 minutes last night. Guided meditations soothe the body but I think what I want right now is mindfulness. Emptiness.
Letting go of my private home (ego) for the collective heart. The number 4 is repeated in this dream: 4 chambers of the heart. Balance, stability, groundedness (earthing). Wholeness.
40 is a biblical number of penitence and preparation: Jesus’ 40-day fast in the desert, the Israelites’ 40 years in the desert …
100 and 1000 are numbers symbolizing bliss in the Christian tradition. Four hundred thousand dollars.
What a lovely dream. It makes me think that my Shady Oak dreams are more about becoming whole as opposed to healing old limiting beliefs.
I would love to see your Grandmother’s farm some day.
I agree about your Shady Oak dreams. I see them as your essence, your core. I pay special attention to those when you share them.