(Thursday, August 29, 2017) moon waxing gibbous Sagitarrius / tarot maiden of blades
These days, even if I don’t recall my dreams, I wake up with the sensation that I have been active and aware all night long. Doing lots of work.
Last night I dream I am sharing space with the members of my immediate family: Chris, Cullan, my siblings and my nieces and nephews. I don’t recall my parents being in the dream, but they may have been.
We are all preparing for sleep in the upper floor of a large house. Ancestral home. The emotional and physical pains each have suffered in their lifetimes are close to the surface. I can experience each source of pain very clearly. I walk into Chris’ bathroom and his pain is expressed by an unflushed toilet and a shower curtain stained with blood and puss. My nephew’s bathroom is also neglected and chaotic. My sister Jamie writhes in agony inside of an open crate like the one in my Cosmic Cocoon dream.
My “boundary thinness” is creating worry for my own emotional strength. Can I handle this intense generational suffering? I decide to descend to an empty lower floor. Immediately, I sense an ominous energy there, and so I return to the upper story.
My consciousness has changed. I am now able to perceive this upper reality like a lucid dream. A huge black and grey cloud fills my vision. I understand that I can tease unlimited realities from the body of the cloud. The field. But I decide to allow dreams/manifestations to develop on their own. Without influence from my desires. My ego.
Very interesting. Between a rock and a hard spot (upper and lower floors). In my version of your dream the decision to not choose another reality answers the question of whether I can handle the intense generational suffering.