Author: Denise

(Monday, March 9, 2020) Full Worm Moon in Virgo / tarot Star

I have an extremely lucid episode of sleep paralysis early this morning. I lie on my right side, facing the north bedroom window. My left arm rests along my ribs and hip. I feel tiny, soft baby fingers curl around my pinky, caressing me in a gentle, loving, joyful way.

I want to free my dream body so I can roll over and view the rest of the room. I am so lucid I realize I do not wish to wake up Chris with the high-pitched scream I made in my sleep paralysis of a few weeks ago. Instead I do my Mongolian overtone chanting, quietly, and it works. My body moves, but my focus is on my busy mental process. I feel asleep and awake at the same time.

When I truly wake up a few hours later, the memory of Wyn’s beautiful fingers makes me blissfully happy the entire day. A big dream.

(Wednesday, February 5, 2020) waxing gibbous moon Cancer / tarot Hermit

With my fingers, I pull out three prominent white whiskers from beneath my chin. Surprisingly, the roots are extracted too. They are thick, and nearly an inch in length. I am very curious about how my female body could harbor such strong, wild hair follicles. And why.

Day notes:

It’s fun that my tarot card of the day is the Hermit, an elder with a full, white beard.

An event that feels potentially magical occurred today. I recently received my 2020 tree contract via email from Dave at Shadywood, the arborist who has been wonderfully caring for our trees for at least 10 years. Today I told him we would be selling our house, and that struck up an extended conversation: he is very interested in buying it. I would love for him to have the property. At Jill Purce’s Red Tara Mandala, one of my ceremonial wishes was to “restore my land,” meaning reestablishing the habitat to its native, wetland roots. But I have not had the energy or the financial resources to do it. I am sad about letting go of our property without that restoration having taken place. An arborist could certainly move things in that direction! I also wonder if he is the man in my Dire Wolf dream with an offer for our house.

(Thursday, January 30, 2020) waxing crescent moon Aries / tarot two of swords

I am stepping down a huge wooded hill that slopes to the bank of a wide river or ocean sound. Vancouver? The soil beneath my feet is deeply fertile and black. Moist and aromatic. The trees are tall, old pines with no undergrowth beneath them. Their canopy shields the sun in a gentle way. It’s completely quiet: an ancient forest.

In my arms I hold a rainbow-colored salmon or trout the size of a domestic cat. She rests peacefully on my right arm and I cuddle her with my left.

As we get closer to the water’s edge the trees thin and the sun shines warmly on our bodies. I notice a high-bridge to my right that I have dreamt of before: the bridge to The Ancestors. It is not my time to crossover.

We reach the shoreline. My beautiful, shimmering rainbow fish suddenly disappears from my arms, then manifests on a large boulder in the water. Resting. The flowing channel is too deep for me to step into and join her. The boulder is exactly like the one Lola would sleep on for hours in the summer.

Day notes:

Salmon spirit animal is rebirth, eternal life, happiness, fertility, creativity.