Author: Denise

I am a sculptor of clay animals and those luminous hybrid creatures that sometimes appear in our dreams, if we are lucky and if we are paying attention. The slow process of hand-building something from clay can really deepen the visitation of a dream. I have faithfully tended these wondrous images, transcribing them to journals since I was in my early 20s.
Posted on

Three Moons and The Haunted Attic

(Thursday, September 8, 2022) waxing gibbous moon Aquarius / tarot Moon

This is the third morning in a row that I have pulled the Moon tarot card. The moon will be full on Saturday.

I had kind of a nightmare last night, although I recognized it for what it was in the dream and worked on fixing it. Lucidity or sleep paralysis?

I am sleeping in my bed upstairs but the upper level is like a storage attic, strewn with stuff. It feels like years past. A woman, perhaps a ghost, charges up the stairs. She seems more like a thief than an attacker. At some point, though, we both turn into spirits and conflictingly spin together on my bed. Whirling dervishes. It helps me push her away. She resents that I occupy her former house. She misses it.

Posted on

Transcendentalism and Double White Light

(Wednesday, September 7, 2022) waxing gibbous moon Aquarius / tarot Moon

Chris and I walk into a large retreat center along the shore of the ocean. I enter a building directly on the edge of the sea, and he wanders to a different structure further from the beach. Closer to the woods.

I sense powerful physical and spiritual energy, as in my last dream. Many kind, older people, people my age, are hiking into the center. They are gentle and friendly, dressed in beautiful clothing with fine patterns and elegant floral details. Some are also wearing delicate, elaborate jewelry made with gems and hand-carved gold and silver.

Ralph Waldo Emerson is the leader of this event. He speaks in his nineteenth century accent: fluently, expansively. Using a colorful drawing, he explains that he is presenting information about double white light. His fingers touch two white circles on the paper. Many of the attendees have followed his teachings for most of their lives. I am blessed to take in this experience and to meet them all. I feel the white energy in my heart and spine.

The interior of the building has decorations that appear to combine the styles of Buddhism and Victorianism. Not simple, but colorful and emotionally pleasing. I take a break and head to a small restroom for a pee. When I return, the group is meeting for lunch together. After I finish my meal, I notice that I need to head to a restroom again to clean my teeth. A new female friend says, yes, that is one of the joys of aging: sticky teeth. It almost feels like my teeth are covered in light, white down feathers. Both restrooms have breezy, sheer, floral curtains that create a cloaked, protective environment.

I never see Chris again in the dream. People at the retreat are happy to meet him and spend time with him. He is not interested in spiritual experiences, although he enjoys the natural location and his companions.

I turn back to the woods for a walk. My friend Bev, who lives just a few blocks away on 41st and Wentworth, is walking with me on the path. We are enjoying time together in the peaceful forest. Her husband Don is stepping quickly past us, and I wave hello with my left hand. He is stern. Perhaps he doesn’t care for the the task he is heading for. He does not look at all like real life Don. His hair is round and curly, almost like a thick woolen cap.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4b/Ralph_Waldo_Emerson_by_Josiah_Johnson_Hawes_1857.jpg

Day notes:

I looked up Emerson after the dream and discovered that Margaret Fuller had been a companion, feminist and Transcendentalist. Our Tangletown neighborhood used to be called Fuller. The Margaret Fuller elementary school was torn down and now is Fuller Park. My neighbor MaryLou helped create the park in 1978. My grandmother was a Fuller.

Emerson passed away on my birthday, April 27.

I am starting to feel more settled in our neighborhood. Most of the people on our street are compassionate and friendly.

Don: 1. Spanish Mr. or Sir, 2. Lord or gentleman in Spanish speaking countries, 3. Italian title for priests, 4. A person of great importance, 5. A University teacher, especially a senior member at Oxford or Cambridge, 6. Head of the Mafia

Transcendentalism: An idealistic philosophical and social movement which developed in New England around 1836 in reaction to rationalism. It taught that divinity pervades all nature and humanity, and its members held progressive views on feminism, abolitionism and communal living. Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau were central figures.

I ordered a book of Emerson’s main essays, including “The Over Soul.”

Posted on

Gift of Three Childhood Houses

(Sunday, September 4, 2022, my father’s 89th birthday) first quarter moon Sagittarius / tarot Death

I’m in the Fridley neighborhood where I grew up. My parents’ house still sits on the hill, and they are there, standing outside the kitchen door, near the patio. We are all at our current ages but the neighborhood feels like childhood time, as the trees are young and the sun is very bright. No shade in a sand prairie.

My sister Jo is coming but is not there yet. She sends me an email about a friend who is trying to buy a house. I see that the friend needs to use a particular computer app. I start to reply to Jo’s email, but am called to the house across the street. My parents are gifting me and perhaps my siblings with this house. Workers are there to paint the eaves and the siding. I roam about the yard and think about what color to paint.

Surprisingly, the other house across another street is also a gift from my parents. The woman Karen Jones who owned it and who we grew up with has moved on to Maine. Workers are painting this house too. Old tan paint is getting scraped off of the eaves, which will be painted pure white.

Jo has finally arrived. We stand in mom and dad’s driveway, chatting. I explain to her about the realty app. Then we discuss what colors to paint the outside of the houses, charcoal grey and midnight navy. Our parents will be moving on and their house will be a gift as well. The designer side of me is comfortable with adding charm to the houses. I am glad that the hard, physical chores are getting done by professionals. The three small 50s-era ramblers were built by the same company and the floor plans are nearly identical.

Even in the dream I wonder if this is a metaphor for my parents’ will. It feels like gratitude.

The Dreamsters Union