Author: Denise

(Thursday, August 21, 2019)

In this dream I am not myself. I am a woman who reminds me of my mother-in-law Kay. I am in my seventies, overweight, with an aging hunched posture. My personality is not that of a creative, but of someone who has managed other workers or taught children for many years. Organized, outgoing, methodical and not very feminine. Supportive but a bit predictable.

Chris and I have owned the sole house next to a cliff on Lake Superior for decades. It’s modest in size, but the view is inspiring. Being near the deep, deep water is important to me. I value the natural privacy too.

A member of the local government planning commission has sent us a message in the form of an earthenware pot filled with leaves. At first I ignore it, but then I take two of the oak leaves that are lightly coated with sap and dip them in the lake, swooshing them clean.

This alerts the planning commissioner that we are ready for a discussion. He comes to tell us that the property near our house is being rezoned. The new lots will be tiny and the houses will be very close together. In fact, our backyard will be bordered by a white fence just a few feet from our back door.

At first we find this a little disturbing, but as we ruminate on the new plan we become accepting of the change. We haven’t painted our house in many years, and we decide to paint it in honor of our new neighbors. The house will be cerulean blue, the windows yellow ochre and cranberry red.

Day notes:

We have new neighbors next door from Colorado. We haven’t met them yet.

(Thursday, August 21, 2019)

I am lying in my second story bedroom. There is no wall at the end of my bed. The room opens to a forest of fresh young trees. I am flatly fused to my pure white bed sheet, on my stomach, sideways across the mattress. Trying to be invisible.

A terrifying struggle is taking place on the ground outside my house: two men in their 30s are trying to kill each other. One man grabs the other by the throat and strangles him to death. I realize the murder victim has a thyroid nodule.

As the dead man falls to the forest floor, the dog who has been crouched near my bare feet begins to bark. I wonder: why did I not try to prevent the killing? My dog has made the murderer aware of my presence, but the killer wants to escape. He runs away from my view, deep into the woods.

Day notes:

I met with my new acupuncture doctor on Monday to try to work on reducing the size of my thyroid nodule. If it gets any bigger it surely will strangle me.

I woke up from this dream happy that the thyroid nodule had been killed. The pure white sheet certainly reminded me of the white roll paper cover on the acupuncture table, but in acupuncture you lie on your back, not your stomach. Claudia sent me an email about the Wood element in Chinese medicine, which is the liver and gall bladder. Tumors can be an outcome of the liver meridian being out of balance.

Lola woke me up at 3:30 and I fell back to sleep till 5. That caused two very lucid dreams to appear.

(Saturday, August 10, 2019)

I’m in a busy, confusing environment, so populated and high-energy that it affects my memory of the dream. In a messy, wide communal kitchen, I try to feed Lola and her large, male feline friend. It’s hard to gather the correct food, food uncontaminated by trash or flying debris. I keep placing small cans on the floor for kitties but end up finding two ornate, pale cerulean-blue crystal goblets to use for their meals. That pleases me. It’s still vigilant work to provide healthy food, but I won’t give up.

Day notes:

The building structure in the dream matches the Hollyhock lodge on Cortes Island BC. The lodge provides an open countertop with coffee and tea pots, pitchers of infused water, cups and glasses, a sink and a bouquet of garden flowers nearly six feet tall. On the left side is the kitchen, on the right is the dining area. In the dream I feed the kits on the left side. In the dream the kitchen is on the right side, not visible to me.

Lola and I have growths in our endocrine systems, hers in the pituitary gland, mine in the thyroid. Benign thus far. I had an ultrasound on Friday because the nodule has grown and is affecting my ability to swallow. Lola had an MRI in April of 2018. Most felines survive pituitary tumors for only 4 to 10 months. I will have my results in the next few days. My guess is I will need my third biopsy.

Chris was diagnosed with a UTI on Friday. He has been hospitalized twice with sepsis from urinary tract infections, nearly dying the first time. Then, the nurse told me he had a 50–50 chance to make it through that night. His new, wholistic doctor was on top of it and called us Saturday morning with prescriptions, including probiotics. I am grateful to her because I was quite fearful I would need to be on 24-hour alert for symptoms of sepsis (severe hallucinations, high fever).

I shared this with our dream group on August 12. Some feedback: cats are highly sensitive, intuitive, elegant and symbolize the creative impulse. They are healers, restoring inner balance and peace. Of course, they are called the “familiars” of witches. My tarot reader Marlene once called Lola my familiar. Goblets indicate friendship and god’s presence. I realized as we worked the dream that I feed Lola with two ceramic teacups which once belonged to my godmother Marguerite. Sacred little dishes, at least to me. Claudia also told me the story about how she worked with traditional Chinese medicine and acupuncture on her two thyroid nodules. I made an appointment and met with Dr. He.