Author: Denise

(Thursday, October 26, 2017) first quarter Capricorn / tarot seven of pentacles reversed

This dream was inspired by yesterday’s conversation in our workplace yoga class, as described in my day notes.

My father is driving our family up to Mille Lacs. We are nearing Elk River, on highway 101, west of the bridge that connects to highway 169. We are passing by the neighborhood where Cullan and I used to live. But in the dream, it’s just a field.

My mother points out a song playing on the radio. She calls it a spiritual. In the ether, a beautiful red sky is associated with the music. Enlightenment.

My father expresses the raw, rough, Tourettes side of his personality. He swears at my mother, describing the song as bullshit, and worse.

The six of us are in the front seat of the car, which is of course physically impossible. In fact, we are not physical at all: our energy bodies overlap. I am facing in the opposite direction of my family, with my back resting on the dashboard. Spirit car.

I confront my father. “I am your spiritual daughter,” I say, “and I am not drunk or stoned. I don’t embrace this out of ignorance. I am analytical and perceptive.”

The dream shifts. I am at a large gathering of people. At the far wall of the meeting room is a long banquet table. I take a seat at the end of the table near the kitchen. My grandmother Lenora brings platters from the kitchen and places them on the table for the guests. She gazes at me with great intensity and provides individual plates of spicy warm vegetables just for me: sweet potatoes, carrots, greens and beets.

Day notes:

We had a substitute yoga teacher yesterday. After class I went up to her and thanked her for her suggestion to plank for one minute every day. “I am the weak yogi,” I joked.

“You seem like a highly spiritual being,” she said. “I got the feeling of deep calm from you.” Our eyes met for a moment of mutual respect and recognition.

I felt blessed by her comment, and even a little shook by it. To be called spiritual in front of my coworkers, by a complete stranger, was difficult for me. But it was a day I will never forget.

(Saturday, October 21, 2017)

Preparing for our dream retreat next weekend, I went on Jill Purce’s website to find a video that would summarize my chanting and mandala experience in Glastonbury. I noticed a video created in San Francisco in 2015. Jill is being interviewed in a cathedral by two Jungians. When I clicked on the video, I was greatly startled to see that Cynthia Cavalli was one of the interviewers. Bonnie and I attended her Synchronicity workshop this summer at the IASD conference. Cynthia is East Indian. Tonight I am going to see my friend Suchi’s East Indian dance company Kala Vandanam perform at O’Shaughnessy.

(Thursday, October 19, 2017) new moon Libra / tarot Crone of Pentacles

Astrologers say Neptune is in Scorpio, causing deep dreaming. Certainly true for me.

I am the Observer, in a nursing home. Chris occupies a room, lying on a bed in a coma. He has been in this state for years. A mature woman (me!) and a young man (Cullan!) are his caregivers. Cullan can’t take the strain any longer and departs.

The Observer me glides in my spirit body along the corridors. I find fresh blood staining the door trim of several rooms in the facility. It is Chris’ blood. His consciousness rises slightly from the coma state at times, and he sleep walks. Then he falls, injuring his head and different parts of his body. I lucidly understand that he metaphorically entered the coma state after his brain tumor surgery. Craniotomy. He is not fully conscious. I see flashes of his old self, but they are rare.

The dream shifts to the entrance of the home. I am still the Observer. I walk down a hallway decorated with exquisite Danish and Scandinavian wood carvings, painted in beautiful pastel colors. I am astonished by the perfection of the craftsmanship. At the end of the hallway, where the corridor makes a ninety-degree turn, sits an ancient Danish woman with thick white hair. Powerful Scandinavian matriarch. She looks directly at me with her pale, crystal blue eyes. Is it Mama Kay? Curiously, I cannot access Chris’ room from this part of the building.

Day notes:

Chris’ ancestry is Danish and Norwegian. Cullan was blown away by the culture of design genius in Copenhagen.

I will be away next weekend, so of course I worry Chris will fall.

Yesterday our VP of marketing flew down to a nursing home in Louisville where we had donated a large amount of healthcare products.