(Sunday, December 25, 2016) moon waning crescent Scorpio / tarot World Dancer
Cullan came into my room this evening as I was reading James Hillman’s chapter on the Philosopher’s Stone. He saw the Great Horned Owl on the roof with prey in its talons. Tomorrow I go to see Marlene for my New Year tarot reading.
(Friday, December 23, 2016, Cullan’s 34th birthday / moon: waning crescent Scorpio / tarot: Judgement)
As I lie in bed on my day off, this hidden dream percolates back into my consciousness:
Coworker Akina from our office in Guandong, China is visiting. She is staying with our boss Daneen in Woodbury, near Newport. [Akina is beloved by our marketing team. She is a great sport and has gone both snowshoeing and bowling with us. She is so tiny (under five feet tall) that lifting a bowling ball is quite a challenge for her. We had to find special, child-size snowshoes to fit her little feet. China doll.]
Akina has been doing some local sightseeing. She has discovered a few hidden, magical houses. I head out on my own to examine them, because I have decided that living close to my work is an important change I want in my life.
The atmosphere outside of the office is the etheric grey that often appears in my dreams. A grid that forms the streets and neighborhoods of the entire metropolitan community, the underlying matrix created by city planners, is visible within the grey field.
Most of the city blocks, the squares of the matrix, are empty. Undeveloped. But soon one of the hidden houses that Akina found shows itself to me, manifests from the etheric fog.
It is a Tudor-style house built from beautiful rough stones that shimmer with mica. The stones are different shapes, sizes and colors, put together in a free-form sculptural way that is visually captivating. Powerful, spontaneous, wild and perfect. Half of the house is the residence of a commanding, important male owner. Magician. The other half is rented to a quietly poetic woman and her small son.
Day notes:
At our Solstice Dreamsters gathering I shared my recent dream of the white castle and talked about the recurrence of that human-created stone surface in my dreams. I also read Daniel Ladinsky’s translation of Rumi’s poem “The China Doll In Us.” The poem ends with this verse: “The china doll in us, at some point, will no longer break. It is then you will find you have the ability to heal others, in a way few in this world can.” I did not even realize until the next day that the poem I had chosen explained the core of my dream. In my dream I decide to share my space with other teachers, and the alchemically created walls are surely the Philosopher’s Stone. China (porcelain) is clay that is heated to the point where silica transforms into quartz. Stone.
Wanting to live close to my work is about changing my work from design to sculpture. My clay studio is already in my house.
Peter led a lovely meditation on Monday that went through all of the chakras, calling out their colors. For the crown chakra, rather than the commonly ascribed colors of purple or white, he used “etheric grey.” Suddenly the curious and common grey of my dreams made sense. After all of these years!
I finished my most recent “china doll” sculpture this week (Edie). My coworker Katie gave birth to her six-pound infant daughter Edie Jane.
My grandmother nicknamed me “Doll Face.” I was petite with long, dark eyelashes.
Akina is from the Far East and is staying/sleeping east of the river (Newport). But she is working west of the river and scouting for homes in Mendota (Mnidota). To the Dakota, this place is the origin of creation. As the Black Hills are to the Lakota.
January 4: Daneen told us today in an email that Akina will be visiting in about a week.
(Wednesday, December 14, 2016) moon: waning, near full, Cancer
Chris and I have moved to a new house that is shaped like a tall medieval castle. There is a central atrium covered by a hexagonal pyramid roof. A tower, I guess. The walls of the open core have a pearly, pebbly hard adobe surface that I have dreamt about three times. In the first dream it covered the interior and exterior of a small sea-green house. In the second dream it covered the inner and outer walls of a red schoolhouse in Santa Fe. Pat was in that dream and we were being taught about past lives by Eric Christopher. This time the stony adobe surface is white. I am not conscious of the exterior in this dream but it must also be white.
As Chris and I begin to explore our castle, I have a fleeting image of Cullan traveling to move into our Plymouth house. I see the charcoal walls and white trim of his old bedroom. It’s his house now. At this moment in the dream I wonder about the decision to purchase the castle. I realize that the deal has been negotiated by Chris while I am in another dream. Dream within a dream. I sense the negotiation but do not take part.
The castle has multiple floors and many expansive rooms. It is far more than I can ever make use of so I decide to offer up space to my friends that teach workshops and classes. Dreamers? Probably.
Day notes:
Wednesday evening Cullan called to tell me that he and Alea had broken up. He arrived at about ten o’clock to move back into his old bedroom. So now, ironically, there is no space in my house for the Dreamsters to meet.
The dream of the sea-green adobe house occurred when Cullan broke up with Krista and moved back home. The adobe house was the color of his Hyundai, neglected and unlivable. Maybe the dream of Pat and the red schoolhouse happened when he and Diana split up. There was chaos in that building too. Pure conjecture. The white house is different: I want to give it a fresh coat of paint, as one would with any newly bought older home, but it is ready to share, as is, with a community of family and friends.
I have been sad about the breakup, but Cullan seems in much better spirits than when he and Krista split. He snowblowed the driveway this morning and that really lifted my mood. I have needed help since Chris had his surgery but nothing has worked out. I have been physically exhausted.
