Author: Denise

(Saturday, September 10, 2016)

1: Yesterday I got a Facebook friend request (proposal) from a man named Michael Spinner. He is not friends with anyone I know, we have no links I can identify. When I go to his page I am not able to view anything about him except his photo. He wears a white leather mountain-man hat with silver decorations. He has silver hair. I think of my recent dream where a silver-haired mountain-man proposes to me. Even more amusing is the fact that the Facebook page never connects fully, it spins and spins. Michael Spinner.

2: Yesterday I told Chris about my Jacob Wetterling dream. He did not seem surprised. He said, “The aliens find people like you. They mean you no harm. They always know where you are.” This from a man who never believed in UFOs, much less encounters of the third kind.

(Wednesday, September 7, 2016)

I am at a large retreat center with coworkers. The property slopes into a long oval lake or pond. The atmosphere is foggy and grey. Every bit of the soil is covered by brilliant green turf, like a golf course. (Just as in waking life, this is very upsetting to me. I have seen shocking maps of the Gulf of Mexico dead zone, which is caused by fertilizer and chemicals flowing in from the Mississippi River. When I drive through my newly-gentrified neighborhood, the perfect, weedless green lawns make me heart-sick, even angry. I am just fine with dandelions and creeping charlie.)

Everyone in the dream is working an app on their cell phones, me included. In one scene, Cullan and I are sitting in the back seat of a car (am I a child too?) and he demonstrates the functions of the app to me. Presumably Pokemon. I hold my phone in my left hand and a young boy’s sandal in my right. Even the sandal is running the Pokemon app on its sole (soul).

In another scene of the dream I am sitting in a room with my coworker Michelle as she trains her new hire. (In waking life, as in the dream, Michelle is morbidly obese. She has a kind, generous temperament, but it is obvious that the stresses of her job as Director of Communications are causing physical damage and great danger.)

I decide I have had enough. I cannot live in this culture any longer, with its toxic, fake green grass and its destructive work demands. I grab a bag of bread slices that others intend to put in the garbage, but I plan to salvage and feed to the birds. I head out the door. A shadow anxiety arises and I am afraid to scatter the bread crumbs till I have walked far away from the “monoculture” (fields without wildness).

Day notes:

As I age I feel more and more at home with spiritually-focused people and ideas. Less so with the capitalist, patriarchal, material world. I don’t even feel comfortable calling that world “real” any longer.

There is a Pokemon spot across the street from our house, at the edge of Circle Park. When we moved into the house 18 years ago, we found a young boy’s sandal. It still hangs in the garage on a nail.

(Wednesday, September 7, 2016) moon waxing crescent Scorpio / tarot Queen of Wands

It is twilight dreamtime. I sit in a small room or building, across from Jacob Wetterling. Between us is the old round walnut table from Denmark that is stored in my garden shed. We may, in fact, be seated in the shed. He is 11, the age he was when he was sexually assaulted, then murdered.

Jacob hangs his head in great sorrow and slowly tells me the entire story of his abduction. I reach my hands across the table but cannot quite make physical contact. I listen with the fullest heart.

Day notes:

Yesterday Jacob’s murderer finally confessed. So many hearts feel broken. Even the national media made this their lead story. I awoke from this dream feeling very blessed by Jacob’s visitation. Holding some of his grief in my living body. Now his spirit is free to move on.

I went into our shed yesterday to get Chris’ wheelchair. The walnut table (from Chris’ Danish father and mother) seemed to seek my attention. Wetterling is a Swedish and Danish surname, according to the web.

In the dream of my grandmother’s funeral some time back, we all sat at round tables. Dream dictionaries say round tables are about relationship, reaching out. Some say they represent heaven.