Author: Denise

(Monday, July 11, 2016)

I own, or am living in, my parents’ small Fridley rambler, the house I grew up in. This makes me sad. Childhood in that place was filled with violence, drunkenness and neglect.

The floor plan is open, which is different than the actual house. The kitchen windows are covered with cheap, ruffled yellow percale curtains, a style common to the early part of the last century. I think Alea will be horrified at such tasteless decor.

An inner understanding grows. This place is the connecting point for the true nature of my family, not their dysfunctional, pain-filled personalities. And I can reconnect with Boots, my beloved tuxedo cat who passed many years ago. At this point Chris appears to me in his glittering energy body. It seems he has died, and I begin to experience fear of his ghost. But I remind myself that this energy body is the same one he possessed while his physical body was living, so there is no need to be frightened.

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(Sunday, July 10, 2016) moon: first quarter Libra / tarot: two of swords reversed

I dream I go to Edie’s house for a healing. But first, I use a rope to rappel down an 800-foot cliff at the edge of the sea. The cliff is narrow and vertical, formed of red and grey rocks.

In the next scene a young man and I arrive at Edie’s house at the same time. In this dream, her house is modern, not a cottage in Cornwall. She is still a healer, and she still has dark hair. We are the same age.

I let the young man go first for his session with Edie. I have a vision of his intent: he is going to jump (or fall?) all the way down the cliff, into the sea. This is terrifying. How will she counsel him, I wonder. Will he survive? That seems impossible. My heart begins to break. I know first-hand the danger of the cliff.

Edie directs me to the bathroom across the hall. I fill the tub with warm, herb-infused water and take a relaxing bath while I wait to speak with her. I masturbate and an orgasm wakes me up out of the dream.

Day notes:

I continued working on my Edie clay piece this weekend, starting over on the body. Happy with the head. I feel blessed that she visited me in a dream while I am focused on her portrait. Am I Edie? Maybe.

The young man’s jump from the very high cliff reminded me (while I was dreaming) of a dream I had before 9/11. A few weeks or months before the Twin Towers burned and caused people to leap from windows to their deaths, I had a dream that so frightened me I awoke with my heart pounding furiously. The dream stayed with me until that awful day. I dreamt my parents were in a car at the top of a very tall mountain, like Pike’s Peak. Their car flew over the side of the mountain and plummeted thousands of feet. I watched as their vehicle sailed through the clear blue sky, slowly, slowly. Crashing and killing them. Is another terror event like 9/11 on the way in America? Certainly the streets are full of terror for young black men.

Last night I watched some YouTube videos on astrology. Venus in Taurus: extreme sensuality and romantic generosity. North node in Scorpio, fifth house, opposing south node in Taurus, eleventh house: north node is destiny, south node is past life karma. South node conjunction the sun denotes difficulty moving from old karma into destiny and purpose. Fifth house is creativity, children and true love. North node in Scorpio is about depth psychology, psychic and spiritual gifts, past life information. Alchemy.

 

 

 

(Friday, July 1, 2016) moon: waning crescent Gemini / tarot: nine of wands reversed

Long dream full of small frustrations and daily detritus. I am creating a sausage-pasta dish for people at work (John Russeth and John Theis) but ingredients are missing. Those that I do have are contaminated with mud, algae and organic gunk. Cooking with the flesh of an animal makes me extremely upset. No one here will want to eat this sad recipe.

I move outside with my son. Cullan is young, less than eight years of age. The sky is black and turbulent: a powerful storm is brewing. A huge white funnel appears at my left side. It is many miles high, much taller than a tornado in real life. Reaching to the heavens. Narrow, spinning tightly. I embrace Cullan with my right arm, protectively.

I tell Cullan we need to take shelter at my sister Jo’s farmhouse. It is far away, so we run across the open prairie. When we reach the building and descend to the basement, the interior of the house mirrors the same funky atmosphere as my workspace in the first part of the dream. I have a premonition that this structure will be completely destroyed, but that our small family will survive, and I share that information with everyone, including my young son.

Day notes:

White tornado: cleanse. Cleansing of office and family messes.

Today I had my teeth cleaned at my new holistic dentist. The technician used a high speed, spinning tool that my old dental office did not. Chris noticed my teeth are much brighter. Friday Dr. John Sieverson starts removing my mercury amalgems.