Author: Denise

(Friday, May 22, 2015) Moon: waxing crescent Cancer / tarot: ten of Pentacles

Dearth of dreams in the last few weeks. The morning was full of dreams but the memory of only two remain.

Dream one: Chris receives a check for $26,000. I am lucid, trying to figure out why and where it comes from. I remember that when Marlene read my tarot cards last winter she said I could expect a “secret inheritance.”  The card she saw was the ace or ten of Pentacles, I don’t remember for certain. The dream transitions before I can draw any conclusions.

Dream two: I am in the Void. Three black cubes are aligned in a row in front of me, each identical and about the size of a very small room, maybe 9 feet wide by 9 feet tall and 9 feet deep. The facets of the cubes facing me open to a dark interior. I navigate into the cube to my right. Perhaps I am levitating, as there seems to be no ground beneath my feet. Or maybe I teleport, Star Trek style.

As soon as I enter the “cube” I become aware of its infinite space, and of the negative atmosphere of that cosmos. It’s a universe full of pain and suffering and violence. Immediately I remove my soul from the hellish dimension and return to the Void.

I don’t even consider the middle cube. I know that it contains an energetic balance between darkness and light. Instead, I enter the cube to my left. As my astral body floats or dissolves into the space, I become illuminated and caressed by the intense brilliance of white light within. I feel a brief sense of healing and coming home before the dream image evaporates. A kind of memory white-out. A flash or silent explosion that absorbs me completely.

Day notes:

I had dinner the night before with my friend Jeanne C. and her childhood friend Marilyn, whom I had been hearing stories about for years but had never met. Marilyn is one of those people my friend Denisea would describe as “taking up psychic space.” I heard tale after tale about deeply dark episodes of her life that started in 1966. An ex-husband that placed a gun to her head, broke into her house and tried to strangle her, and on and on. I could not wait to get away from her. What kind of person spins those terrible yarns to someone she has never met? It felt like she was trying to impress and control me with her warrior spirit. Her ego.

(Saturday) Lola is sick again, after 5 vet visits in one week and $2500 spent. An ultrasound on Tuesday gave her a clean bill of health. But I had to take her to the ER this morning, and there will be more vet visits to come next week. I am feeling like I cannot ever again volunteer for the dream conference. I can never be sure of my ability to attend. I’m ready to find a witch doctor for Lola. The spooky side of Sabine Lucas would say the forces of darkness are trying to prevent me from an experience of light that the conference will invoke. Tarot today is five of swords. 

Lori has my copy of Nigel Hamilton’s book. I’ll bet he has something to say about a row of three black cubes!

On the way to the ER this morning a white squirrel ran across the road in front of us, right to left. On the way back, a giant wild turkey and his mate were stopping traffic on Highway 55. All his feathers were gloriously spread, like some kind of Thanksgiving vision.

Squirrel: gathering, frenetic energy, socialize, have more fun, “be prepared but don’t go nuts!”

Turkey: “Give-Away Eagle” (potlatch), medicine of saints and mystics, reception of a gift

2 + 6 + 0 + 0 + 0 = 8, the symbol of infinity. A trinity of zeroes, a trinity of emptiness. The Void.

2 + (2 + 2 + 2) + 0+ 0 + 0 = quaternity of two, trinity of null

9 + 9 + 9 = 27 = 9

9 x 9 x 9 = 729 = 18 = 9

When multiplied, nine always reproduces itself. Nine is the number of magic, of completion and fulfillment. Nine is the number of heaven, the number of universal love, karma, and of lightworkers. According to “The Internets.”

Black box, Kaaba Stone of Mecca

(Monday, May 4, 215) Wesak: full moon in Scorpio / tarot: three of swords reversed

I spent the weekend at a Soul Breathing workshop guided by Terri Peterson at the Aslan Institute. The Institute is a beautiful space created by a psychiatrist from South Africa. Artwork of lions, angels, Kwan Yin, mandalas and other sacred subject matter fill the walls and shelves throughout the building. Aslan, of course, is the lion from C.S. Lewis’ book “The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe.” That is also the name of the dream Jeanne, Bonnie and I shared at the dream ball last year.

This morning when I got back to work and checked my emails, I saw a message from the White Lion Trust of South Africa. Which made me very happy! Last year, the day after Jeanne gave me a birthday gift of a hand-beaded white lion from Africa, I also received an email from the White Lion Trust. I only get one or two messages a year from the trust, so to me, this is amazing timing.

At our closing Soul Breathing session yesterday, we stood in a circle and said a prayer in honor of Wesak, the celebration of the Buddha’s birthday and enlightenment. As soon as we finished our prayer, we heard a clap of thunder. Rain began to fall. Purification! Smiles all around.

The email message from the White Lion Trust had a photo of Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama dancing together. The seal on the Tibetan flag includes an image of two white lions facing each other.

One of the questions Sabine Lucas asked the last time I saw her was, “Are you ready to manifest?” Jung and others would say manifestation (synchronicity) is activated by the alignment of one’s soul with source. My final breath session with our group was the most powerful I have ever had. My entire body was buzzing with intense energy. When our group finished breathing and stood to join in our circle, a golden-haired lioness from Rochester named Diane exclaimed, “You look so young! You are absolutely vibrating!” I laughed and said, “I AM. I AM vibrating!”

So this entry rambles a bit but I had to write it down …

(Thursday, April 23, 2015) Waxing crescent moon in Cancer / tarot: seven of cups reversed

I am driving with Chris to the land of my maternal ancestors: to Wabasha, Minnesota. My grandmother’s farmhouse is gone. The neighboring houses and barns and outbuildings are gone. The sand prairie has returned in all of its gentle beauty. Golden grasses bend in the wind, covering the rolling hills from the foot of the blue bluffs to the banks of the Mississippi River.

Since every physical trace of family is erased, I turn back, deciding to travel to my paternal grandparents’ property on the South Dakota border, in Brewster, Minnesota. I take a sharp left and travel down a long, straight road such as one would find in the Dakotas.

I notice a giant, vertical column in a field on the left side of the roadway. It’s hundreds of feet tall and shaped like a towering Mother Redwood. Cloudlike. Turning so slowly on its axis I don’t notice the spin until I sense the tremendous energy within my own body. We are traveling in tornado country and I wonder if it’s a twister. Yet it’s shaped like a tree. I think it must be a portal between dimensions.

I drive further down the road, intending to turn left again to continue on the path to see my father’s parents. There is a numbered form I want to pick up at their house (I forget the four-digit number when I awake). Chris and I hear news, perhaps on the car radio, of a tornado warning for the area near Brewster. I realize I already have a copy of the form, so I do not need to put us in danger by driving through the storm. I have a vision of my grandparents in the clouds above us. Their lives were surrounded by emotional turbulence, tornadoes of grief and anger. They look down on me, sending a silent blessing.

The road comes to a “T” and I turn right, heading to the office, only this office looks more like the conference centers I dream of so frequently these days. I work for awhile and suddenly it’s 20 minutes to 4. Time to get ready to go home. I am leaving for good, my retirement has arrived. “Where did the time go?” a woman named Janet (controller in the finance department) and I ask each other.

Day notes:

Last night I was very tired after work. I went to bed early and listened to some YouTube videos on my phone. I found quite a few that were titled “theta meditations.” Sabine Lucas used lights and sound to move my brainwaves into the theta realm. One of the YouTube meditations had the same abstract, buzzing soundtrack as something Sabine would use. It was an hour long. Soon enough I was seeing lights and colors and forms behind my eyelids, just as if I were in her meditation chamber in Santa Fe. Then I had this a-m-a-z-i-n-g dream.