Author: Denise

(Sunday, July 24, 2016) waning gibbous moon Aries / tarot: maiden of blades reversed

I am in the middle of Arkansas, in a high rise building. So probably Hot Springs. I am riding a bicycle over conglomerate floors that are formed like cloisonne mosaics. There are gold or brass borders separating each color. I ride over a sunny yellow stone surface. There are also areas of red, white and turquoise conglomerate.

My bike is very low, like a recumbent. I decide to raise the seat and handlebars to a normal level. I ride into an elevator, which takes me to the ground floor of the building, where I exit. I am on my way to a retreat with Terri Peterson, my breath coach.

I ride quite far, on a road into the Ouachita National Forest. I begin to climb a very long, curved slope. Higher and higher. The road comes to an abrupt end and I sail into an endless abyss of clear light.

Even though the dream is obviously evolving into what Tibetans call a clear light dream, which they find highly desirable, I become lucid and change the end of my dream. I wish to remain grounded on my Mother Earth. I ride my bike, happily, along a dirt trail.

Day notes:

When I awake I am surprised at my decision to leave the infinite space, the clear light. Was that really the right choice? I guess I prefer Earth Magic to Sky Magic.

Yesterday I received an invitation from Terri to attend another retreat at Peace Valley in Arkansas this fall. Last year’s retreat was an amazing experience, but too ethereal for me right now. Even Robert Winn, who was partnering with Terri, made comments that people needed to bring the universal into the heart center, into the body. Some people were too disconnected from their bodies, according to Robert, who has taught yoga for almost 40 years.

There is a symbolic connection between the shape of a bicycle and the infinity symbol.

This road is identical to the road in my Harry the Magician dream, but I am riding it in the opposite direction: left to right instead of right to left.

(Monday, July 11, 2016)

I own, or am living in, my parents’ small Fridley rambler, the house I grew up in. This makes me sad. Childhood in that place was filled with violence, drunkenness and neglect.

The floor plan is open, which is different than the actual house. The kitchen windows are covered with cheap, ruffled yellow percale curtains, a style common to the early part of the last century. I think Alea will be horrified at such tasteless decor.

An inner understanding grows. This place is the connecting point for the true nature of my family, not their dysfunctional, pain-filled personalities. And I can reconnect with Boots, my beloved tuxedo cat who passed many years ago. At this point Chris appears to me in his glittering energy body. It seems he has died, and I begin to experience fear of his ghost. But I remind myself that this energy body is the same one he possessed while his physical body was living, so there is no need to be frightened.

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(Sunday, July 10, 2016) moon: first quarter Libra / tarot: two of swords reversed

I dream I go to Edie’s house for a healing. But first, I use a rope to rappel down an 800-foot cliff at the edge of the sea. The cliff is narrow and vertical, formed of red and grey rocks.

In the next scene a young man and I arrive at Edie’s house at the same time. In this dream, her house is modern, not a cottage in Cornwall. She is still a healer, and she still has dark hair. We are the same age.

I let the young man go first for his session with Edie. I have a vision of his intent: he is going to jump (or fall?) all the way down the cliff, into the sea. This is terrifying. How will she counsel him, I wonder. Will he survive? That seems impossible. My heart begins to break. I know first-hand the danger of the cliff.

Edie directs me to the bathroom across the hall. I fill the tub with warm, herb-infused water and take a relaxing bath while I wait to speak with her. I masturbate and an orgasm wakes me up out of the dream.

Day notes:

I continued working on my Edie clay piece this weekend, starting over on the body. Happy with the head. I feel blessed that she visited me in a dream while I am focused on her portrait. Am I Edie? Maybe.

The young man’s jump from the very high cliff reminded me (while I was dreaming) of a dream I had before 9/11. A few weeks or months before the Twin Towers burned and caused people to leap from windows to their deaths, I had a dream that so frightened me I awoke with my heart pounding furiously. The dream stayed with me until that awful day. I dreamt my parents were in a car at the top of a very tall mountain, like Pike’s Peak. Their car flew over the side of the mountain and plummeted thousands of feet. I watched as their vehicle sailed through the clear blue sky, slowly, slowly. Crashing and killing them. Is another terror event like 9/11 on the way in America? Certainly the streets are full of terror for young black men.

Last night I watched some YouTube videos on astrology. Venus in Taurus: extreme sensuality and romantic generosity. North node in Scorpio, fifth house, opposing south node in Taurus, eleventh house: north node is destiny, south node is past life karma. South node conjunction the sun denotes difficulty moving from old karma into destiny and purpose. Fifth house is creativity, children and true love. North node in Scorpio is about depth psychology, psychic and spiritual gifts, past life information. Alchemy.