Author: Denise

(Wednesday, November 12, 2014) Waning gibbous moon in Cancer / Moon (tarot)

I’m in what used to be called the Warehouse District in Minneapolis, now known as the North Loop. Where Cullan and Alea have their loft in the old Gurley Candy Company. But the roads are still macadam (red brick) so I don’t think it can be the present time. (Seems like the last of the brick was torn up in the 80s and 90s.)

It’s a part of town where I feel very comfortable. Happy. I like the history and the simplicity of the stone and brick warehouse buildings. (In the 80s and 90s I attended many art crawls and spent hundreds of hours at the W.A.R.M. gallery when it was housed in the Wyman building. I worked at design and ad agencies in the Textile building and others.)

In the dream, I walk around the left corner of a square brick building that is four stories tall. At the back and left side of the building is an L shaped pool of water. The short leg of the L hugs the side wall of the warehouse. Perhaps the pool fills the foundation of an old building that no longer exists. There seems to be a ramp under the area of the pool closest to me (the short leg of the L) because the water gradually deepens.

I jump out into the water on a rubber wake board, coasting to about the middle of the pool, when the board sinks and I have to swim underwater to retrieve it. I slide across the water several times, until someone warns me about the giant fish that hovers far below the water’s surface. I see the fish but am skeptical of the warning. The fish has rounded jaws and a gentle, sensuous shape. It doesn’t appear predatory or dangerous. I’m uncertain if I should continue playing in the water.

Suddenly I see a very old white-haired gentleman on a motorbike, heading for the deepest part of the pool. He is moving at a perfect right angle to where I have been sliding. I know that he is on a suicide mission. He is driving at top speed, eyes and mouth wide open. He plunges into the pool and sinks with the bike, breathing water into his lungs.

I am filled with sorrow. He has been ill for many years and has made this decision to end his physical pain. I dive into the water and swim down to his body. His eyes are still open. In the pupil of his right eye I see a tiny, white snake-like form. It twists and turns, swimming out of his body toward the light at the top of the pool.

Day notes:

I shared this dream at our group on November 17. Peter made the connection to Nigel Hamilton’s section on the alchemical stage of Rubedo (descent from Albedo and Citrinitas). Some Rubedo themes: 

• Return to worldly life/work/city (the warehouse district in Minneapolis)
• Personal issues return, but seen from a transpersonal perspective (Chris’ physical degeneration)
• The number four, mandalas, symmetrical shapes (the cube-shaped four-story building, L-shaped pool)
• Red, red-brown, red blood (dark red earthenware bricks on the street and in buildings)
• Black, black light (the deep water of the pool)

From Hamilton: “Rubedo is the red stage in alchemy, symbolizing the descending spirit … The ultimate goal of Rubedo is described as the spiritualization of matter and, simultaneously, the materialization of spirit …”

(Saturday, November 8, 2014) Waning gibbous moon in Gemini / three of swords reversed

Dreams dreams dreams!

In the first dream I am with a group of coworkers. We are socializing outdoors. I have the sensation of someone trying to grab my attention. I look up momentarily to meet the gaze of Mitch Jones from the Phoenix office (!). Mitch is an extraordinary human being on many levels: he is handsome enough to make a GQ cover, he is fit, gentle, and extremely intelligent (he works in the IS – Information Services – department). He is holding his beautiful toddler daughter in his arms. I look away almost immediately: I am older than he is and feel unworthy.

The dream progresses to another location. Again I am in a group of coworkers. Again Mitch tries to make eye contact with me. This time he is holding his infant son. I look into his eyes briefly but then cast my eyes down again. I think it is impossible that he wants a relationship with me. Because I am a sensitive, I feel his frustration, which is not an emotion I have ever perceived in him.

In the next dream, I am holding a toy boat made of aluminum. It’s a power boat, maybe a foot-and-a-half in length. A group of us from the IASD are standing at the waterfront along San Francisco Bay in the middle of the night. I recognize Richard Wilkerson and the red-haired British woman I met in Kerkrade who now has her PhD. Richard looks trimmer than the last time I saw him.

The black water of the harbor is full of boats but I want to ride in my tiny powerboat. I’m not afraid. I shrink my physical body until I am small enough to fit in the toy, and zip around on the tall, cold waves.

In the third dream I am with the IASD again. I am not a researcher, not a healer, not a professional artist or writer. Still I feel a great sense of joy in being at the meeting. I love to dream. I love to dance. The dream ends with us all dancing happily at the dream ball.

Day notes:

On Saturday, November 15, I visited Marlene Delott for a tarot reading. I had dreamt of her so I called and made an appointment. Much of what she said is reflected in this dream series.

Marlene asked for questions in advance. I am still struggling in my T’ai-Chi class, so I asked her if I am benefitting, if I should continue. Her answer was a mirror of my Mitch dream. She saw an “energy connection” between me and my teacher (who is at least ten years younger than I am, works for the Fed as an economist, is very fit and good-looking). On my side the connection feels sexual and spiritual. She did not define the connection from his side but said that he has been frustrated in his emotional relationships. She said he is a very nurturing teacher and I should definitely continue my instruction.

She said my experience in Santa Fe “filled me up” and that I will, at some point in the future, help others with past-life dreamwork. I found this very surprising as I have no inclination at the present moment to do that. I thought of Bonnie’s foxy comment, “I don’t need no letters after my name – I navigate the unconscious just fine!”

(Friday, November 7, 2014) Full moon in Taurus / Maiden of blades

I am in a spaceship, suspended over the earth with The Dreamsters Union.

The scene shifts. Either we are beamed down to the planet or our ship lands on a tall peak, because suddenly we are hiking down a steep and wooded mountain trail, in snow nearly up to our knees. Snow is falling hard enough to dampen both light and sound.

I carry a long, pointed stick in my right hand, maybe for balance. Everyone is walking behind me, except for Pat. He is a few hundred feet ahead of me. He has reached the base of the mountain and is moving left into a snowy meadow. I glance to my right and am terrified to see a huge black bear rushing toward us both.

The bear stops briefly. He seems to be deciding whether to attack Pat or to attack me. I raise my pointed stick in a lame effort at self-defense. The bear roars and lunges toward Pat, taking him down onto his back. He rips open Pat’s stomach with his teeth and claws. Pat’s abdomen looks like a huge black bowl, a gaping and horrifying wound that seems fatal to me.

The scene shifts again. The Dreamsters are all sleeping together, near a stone fireplace like the one at Jeanne’s cabin. The logs in the hearth have burned down to warm, orange embers. Our individual mattresses are strewn upon the floor. My “sister” sleeps near Peter. I see a small black frog creep near her face as she sleeps, then hop off of her pillow onto the floor. I ask one of the Dreamsters, maybe Peter, about Pat. I am overjoyed to hear that Pat has been able to heal himself completely.

The dream shifts again. I have walked out of the Dreamsters’ space into a meeting room at my office. My boss, Louis, is there as well as many other of my coworkers. I turn away from Louis and realize that I am naked. I walk calmly back into the dreaming room, unruffled. Once inside the chamber I notice that I am wearing my red flannel nightgown, so I understand that I am not naked at all but that Louis is able to see the real me.

Day notes:

I have just finished two retreats in the same week, one with the Dreamsters at Jeanne’s cabin, and one at work. Our team-building meeting at work used the “Strengthsfinders” book to learn more about each other. Louis and I ended up in the same breakout session because of our similar “strengths.” We share a characteristic called “connectedness” which is about perception of the underlying threads (nothing is an accident, belief in the Collective Unconscious). I joked with him that we are the mystics on the team. I saw a glimmer of recognition in his eye.

I love that the name The Dreamsters Union is inspired by The Teamsters Union. Union members are coworkers. Dreamsters are coworkers. United by dreams.

The work we are doing as a dream group is at a very high level. Spaceship, mountaintop. White snow.

Bear (from “Medicine Cards” by Jamie Sams and David Carson) has much to say about this dream but I could not find a link to the copyrighted text on the web. Suffice it to say that Bear spends winter, the time of the Ice Queen’s reign, in the Dream Lodge, the place where the ancestors sit in Council. Why was this dangerous bear awake and outside of his Dream Lodge?

The dream seems a good omen about the completeness of Pat’s recovery from stomach cancer. I wonder about the black frog. Frog symbolizes cleansing. Maybe my “sister” is Bonnie, since she is so often in my dreams. Or maybe Claudia, since we were both described as cats in Jeanne’s workshop (panther and lynx). A mystery.

The sensation of the six (or seven?) of us in the spaceship was very real. And soft and dreamlike at the same time. Like being held in a silver cloud.