Visitation: Mama Kay

(Saturday, November 9, 2024) first quarter moon Aquarius / tarot Sun

After midnight I dream of putting on a thin, long old raincoat that doesn’t feel right. Too light, not warm enough. I walk up a flight of stairs to a large closet and try on fancier, furry winter coats that once belonged to my mother.

I wake up at two and fall back to sleep an hour later, entering a dream about family:

I am in our large ancestral home, made of multiple layers. I walk outside, across a tiny pond to meet Cullan inside the open garage, which is separate from the house. He gives me information about our upcoming travel and asks me to head upstairs to pack my suitcase.

Once in my bedroom, I fall back to sleep in my dream. Just for a little while. When I wake up, I panic because I know I am late for our trip. I run down the stairs and meet Chris’ mother Kay, who passed away in 2014. A huge surprise. She tells me she is back from a long journey, including a city or country whose name she tells me but I have forgotten.

There are vanished details of both dreams. But the plots are accurate.

Day notes:

I am a person with nearly empty closets. My mother’s are packed full of things she hasn’t worn in years. She met with a surgeon on Thursday and needs to decide if she will have her knee replaced or not. The doctor told her that using the stairs helps keep her muscles stronger. I use two sets of stairs at least 20 times every day.

It felt so good to have Kay visit me in my dream. Chris was affectionately complimentary yesterday.

Kay in 2013 at her assisted living facility for dementia. The photo on the left is our Plymouth house and the painting of the geese was made by her mother, who attended The Art Institute of Chicago.

Fragment: Wooly Grey Caterpillars

(Saturday, Day of the Dead, 2024) new moon Scorpio / tarot eight of wands

I sense the dark, nighttime sky in this dream. Cousins and other family members chat with me on the old Sheehan ancestral land, near the farmhouse front yard. I have a small sculpture I carry in my two hands. It is a little house made of tree sticks. The walls are open and I can see inside. There are two furry, grey caterpillars, one very tiny and one of a good size who starts to grow. As I watch him get bigger and bigger, I decide to walk up the grassy area that leads to the distant road. I tip the wooden “house” so the wooly caterpillar falls out into nature. That is a relief to the baby caterpillar, and to me.

Day notes:

This reminds me of the cardboard house I made for our Monday dream circle.

I will need to think about caterpillars for this dream. Worms come to mind, creatures that enter coffins and eat the dead. Bonnie and Margi visited yesterday, and the near-future of my parents passing came up in a conversation with Margi.

Day notes November 17, 2024:

Reading this dream again gives me prescient elements. The sculpture made of tree sticks must be paper clay. I will begin working on a ceramic design I made a year ago after I finish painting our entryway. The sculpture is three houses, and each house is open on a different side (top, bottom, front). Letting go of the big, wooly grey caterpillar might mean my house-painting is nearly done. Three of the rooms I painted are light grey.

Three Morning Dreams

(Tuesday, October 22, 2024) waning gibbous moon Cancer / tarot Strength

Dream 1:

I am in my tall castle that is stories above the city street. I look out a window in an upper floor and see two men attempt to break into the front door. They can’t open it, so they head to my left, around the corner of the building. Moving on.

I call first-responders but apologize a bit. I’m not sure if they need to know about two potential criminals who were not successful. But I want to make sure other homes are not attacked.

Dream 2:

I am at my childhood home in Fridley. I want to plant some rosemaries (maybe lavenders?) in the yard, but I struggle to find an open spot. Finally my Dad tells me I can tear up a flat part of the property along the dead-end street. I am surprised, happy, to have such a large bit of their lot for the purple-blue flowers.

Day notes:

Friday, October 25: I think this is a dream about a cemetery (dead-end street and my parents passing. I am going up to see them today. My Mom got home from the hospital yesterday and my Dad was in the hospital last week.

Dream 3:

I am walking along a long, natural pathway in the center of a large lake. On the left side is a beautiful, newly constructed wooden mansion on a beach across from the sandy path. On the right side are smaller wooden homes on another sandy beach. Homeowners for two of the houses on the right are chatting with each other outdoors. I see my old coworker Alysia. I keep walking along the central trail with prairie grasses along the edge. A critical element of the dream happens as I walk, but I have forgotten it. I suppose I feel alone, not connected to the homes and people on either side of my hike.

This lake reminds me of Moore Lake where I grew up. Central Avenue (Highway 65) was built in the middle of the lake.

Day notes:

I received my Mayo Clinic appointments yesterday: December 13 (Friday) and 16 (Monday). On December 16 I have five labs and tests that start at 7 am and end after 5 pm. I booked a hotel for Sunday night. Hopefully driving home on Monday evening will work for me. This gives me a ton of anxiety. I did not know how many tests or what kind they would provide. Now I know: blood test, electrocardiogram, speech and language pathology consultation, PET CT scan, MRI.

The Dreamsters Union