Author: Denise

(Monday, April 29, 2024) waning gibbous moon Capricorn / tarot knight of wands

This dream has two scenes, the first at about 4:30 am and the second at 6 am. I wake up after the first dream, but it continues after I fall back asleep.

Scene 1:

I enter my huge house at the first story, on the left side. A room that is a business office is located immediately past the front entry door. I walk inside and visit a kind former coworker, then leave to visit the rest of the house.

Even though the house is old, it feels new to me. I must explore. There are lots and lots of rooms, and a few of them store white wooden doors and white wooden lawn chairs like the ones in my “real” basement. All of the rooms are clean and most of them are empty. I find some small rooms painted the sky-blue color I plan to use in our “real” main-floor bedroom. The plaster ceilings and walls have ancient, soft-curved edging. Nothing sharp. A number of the ceilings have begun to be painted with random brush marks, also like my “real” house.

Scene 2:

I head down to the half-underground, lowest level of the house. An intelligent, serious and self-reliant Black man meets me in a large sky-blue room. Scenic windows look out into nature. This man is my partner. How lucky, almost awestruck, I feel to find such a powerful relationship. How can I possibly match his gifts?

My friend Mary, who has my old job in “real” life, is being a bit of a nasty trickster. She is causing small, irritating events in a few of the rooms in my house: spraying water, trying to steal my partner. Nothing she can actually get away with.

Day notes:

I have been doing a detailed freelance design job with my former coworker Suchi. Work from home!

The handymen who have been removing ceiling popcorn in our house have struggled mightily. There are a lot of brush marks on the walls below the ceiling edges. They are supposed to finish tomorrow.

I’ll see Mary on Friday, along with my old design team from Ergotron, at the Sea Salt restaurant next to Minnehaha Falls. Mary is having a horrific divorce. She is losing her house and half of her retirement income. I hope she is grateful I got her that job, since she is 61 years old. Not easy at our age.

(Wednesday, April 17, 2024)

Yesterday I had a bit of a nightmare that I did not write down right away. I was at my family house in the woods, similar to the cabin we had in my childhood, but the landscape looked more like bluff country. My father was maybe in his thirties or forties, still very physically fit. He was intensely angry and aggressive, manic, running with the intention/in-tension to harm anyone that he could capture.

I was able to be strategic. I hid myself under bushes and trees, then rolled myself down the gully to the riverbed, safe from harm.

Daynotes:

My father has dementia now, as did his father.

April 26: This morning I woke up with a new perspective on this dream. Astrologer Deborah O’Connor spent a lot of time expressing her point of view on Chiron in Aquarius in my eight house. She said I have had many lifetimes as a wounded healer, often imprisoned and even murdered. I think of all of the witch dreams I have had, my Joan of Arc dream. I know female herbalists during medieval and renaissance times were often killed or sent to an insane asylum. My dream of being attacked by my “father” (patriarchal society) reaffirms that I need to trust my own process with my health.

(Wednesday, April 17, 2024)

Jodell sent me a text yesterday after my intelligence test at Minneapolis Neurology Clinic: “How did your appointment go yesterday?”

My reply: “Thanks for remembering and asking. It was sad. One part of the testing went very bad. The doctor said I have the beginning of mild cognitive decline. Semantic PPA. She thinks I’ll need to go to the Mayo for therapy (she did her internship there). I meet with my neurologist next Tuesday. She will have the final diagnosis. No cure.”

Jo: “Oh Denise! So glad you went in and had this checked out. Keep pursuing your options … things are always changing in the medical community.”

Me: “Thanks, Jo. I agree with you. I am reading a few books. I wonder if I even tell Mom and Dad. By the time this gets severe they will have passed away.”

Jo: “I am so glad you moved close to Cullan and Hillary for multiple reasons and even more so now. I won’t say anything to Mom and Dad, it is your call. You will know more next week, I am sure you are anxious to have all the facts. You are the last one I thought would be affected in our family, your intelligence is amazing. Love you.”

Day notes:

Jo has been in my dreams a lot this past year. I told Cullan and Hillary about my medical issues on Tuesday.