Author: Denise

(Saturday, April 6, 2024)

I am outdoors in Nashville, Tennessee, with my favorite musician John Prine (who passed away from covid in 2020). I sense the presence of his Irish wife, but do not see her. A friend of his is next to John. There is a tall pole in the grass with a curtain rod at the top. John and his friend twist the rod, rotate it, and bits of the drape tear off and fall on the ground. I quickly bend down and pick up the pieces of fabric.

Day notes:

Picking up the little pieces reminds me of the first exercise I did on BrainHQ.

Some lyrics from “Clay Pigeons”:
I’m tired of runnin’ ’round lookin’
For answers to questions that I already know
I could build me a castle of memories
Just to have somewhere to go
Count the days and the nights that it takes
To get back in the saddle again
Feed the pigeons some clay, turn the night into day
Start talkin’ again, when I know what to say

(Wednesday, April 3, 2024)

I have focused much on my Ralph Waldo Emerson “numinous” dream. Months after recording it I discovered that he suffered from a stroke and had aphasia: difficulty with words. Very sad for such a great poet. Today on Google I see he had semantic dementia for the final two decades of his life. My MRI report suggests I have semantic dementia. I need to hear what my neurologist has to say. Tears.

(Wednesday, April 3, 2024) three-quarter moon Aquarius / tarot eight of pentacles

Hypnagogia:

I met with my new neurologist yesterday. I love her. She said, “You are good,” but prescribed some testing anyway. Yesterday I had bloodwork and today I had a brain MRI. She said low levels of B6 and B12, or a stroke, can cause “speech impairment.”

I have never had an MRI before. It was fine, did not bother me. Midway through the process I started to see orange images behind my closed lids. The first was an owl, which stayed with me for awhile, looking into my eyes. Then I saw other animals, Jedis, spirit guides and aliens. All were focused on my internal vision. My third eye? I don’t know.

Synchronicity:

Monday I received Cindy’s monthly email, this one showing her beautiful March journal. My favorite photo was a red velvet chair and I replied, telling her about the time of my life when I used to shop for old furniture for art projects. My friend Anna, now living in Arizona, sent me a picture of the painted chair I had gifted her many years ago, and I sent the photo to Cindy. Synchronicity again between us: a New England artist friend of hers just sent a painting that looked exactly like the seat of Anna’s chair.

Day notes:

Just received results from MRI. Doctor has not reviewed them yet:

1. No acute intracranial abnormality is demonstrated.

2. Mild diffuse parenchymal volume loss with greater asymmetric volume loss in the left temporal lobe. This appearance has been described in the setting of semantic dementia.

3. Minimal presumed chronic white matter microangiopathy.