Category: Bonnie

I am in a large place with a group of people. Becky is there dressed like an exotic African especially her hair. She is making art; small, round (5″ diameter) pieces made out of material. She is showing them to me.

Molly is there and is pregnant. She is going to have an abortion but has to wait for two weeks for some reason. I am pregnant also.

I can’t find my phone. I look and look. I ask a man to ring my number. He does. I can’t hear my phone ringing.

I am to get an abortion. I am now in the den at Shady Oak. Mom is there. I sit down. I say Paul and I tried to get pregnant and nothing happened. Now I am pregnant and am going to get an abortion. (I am not sure if I tell my mother this or not)

I am more upset that I can’t find my phone. I see my knitting. It is dark green yarn the same color as my phone cover. I lift it up and there is my phone. I realize that I am so emotional because I am pregnant.

At the end of the dream, I start thinking Paul and I will keep this child.

I shared this dream with the Dreamsters. Here is what II wrote:

If this were my dream, I am first out in the world. (large place with lots of people). Maybe I can see the “big picture” . I see Becky who is dressed colorfully, and she shows me her art. This feels like we are meeting on a soul level and it is a nice connection.

I then see Molly. She is pregnant. Maybe she is going through a change, a new beginning or maybe this move to North Carolina has created potential. She needs to wait two weeks before she has an abortion. She doesn’t like change and maybe the abortion symbolizes her not going along with change.

I can’t fine my phone. My phone is my connection to others when not with them physically and the world. I then go to Shady Oak. This symbolizes my past and my inner world. My mom is there who is a good listener especially when someone is emotional. I tell her about Paul and I trying to get pregnant for a long time and it didn’t work. Maybe this has to do with us not being as close as I would like. Now, I am pregnant and think I will abort. Abort new potential, new beginning? However, I find my phone under my knitting. I find my connection. This helps to knit things together. Now I am open to new possibilities.

Jeanne: This dream is a reflection on my life bringing me to the present and what I am facing now. It has to do with connection to people who know me well. Losing my phone represents my fear of losing connection to myself, relationships and my partner. I worry that I will collapse into oneness because of caregiving, not being recognized and being alone. I sit in the den with my mother and connect to my ancestors. I find a part of myself: my freedom, independence, art, full expression, ancestor wisdom, memories, etc. I am pregnant with emotions and want to stop these feelings (abortion). I find my phone (connection) under my knitting (my art). It is my color and I feel connected. Paul is my masculine. I feel connected to that part of me and I will keep this whole me.

Peter: this dream shows the the shifting aspects of myself. Becky represents my independent spirit. I need to draw humor from Molly to meet my present situation with Kevin and Paul. I am missing that connection to both of them. I need to be more independent as opposed to interdependent because of Paul’s dementia. However, I am going to term with this journey with Paul.

Nevuah: In Spanish pregnancy means embarrassed. I am embarrassed to be pregnant with no ringer. I am the second cub in the den. I am connected to my family/ancestors (photos on the wall as well as my mother being there). I don’t want to lose connection to my tight knit family. I am pregnant with anticipation but have to be patient. My plan will work. I don’t have to abort it.

I am riding a brown, chestnut horse. I wear a coat and a wide brimstone hat. A man has asked me to marry him. I am younger. There is something to do with having enough food to eat.

(middle of the night and I don’t remember this ).This sounds like a past life to me.

I am at a college. I am to give a talk to a large audience. I am the third speaker. I am on stage, but off on the side. I think my two papers (notes) are on the floor close to the podium where the one speaker is talking. I crawl over and look. They are not there.

I go to look for the papers. I am with two women. I think one of them is Sheila La Corre. We go to my classroom. I look for the notes on my computer. For some reason, I did not save them. There is a package in the room. I open it. There is a wrapped gift from a friend. (I can’t remember what it is when I wake).

I am disappointed that I cannot find my notes. I decide to call and say I need to cancel. Then I get a message from the university that something happened and it had to close. I am somewhat relieved, but also nervous that something “bad” may have happened to have it close.

I worked on this dream by just looking at the verbs. This dream could be about me asking Kevin about having connection with Markus and Rowan. I did send a voice note this morning and at the end asked where he was at re Paul and I reconnecting with the boys. No message back yet.

Ideas:
Give a talk, is talking- communication. Someone else is talking, not me. Crawl- moving on hands and knees, making myself small, unseen. Leave- go away
Look- using my eyes to see something
Did not save- did not keep, lost, didn’t hold on to
See- become aware of
Open- discover
cannot find- something is lost, not available
call- communicate
cancel-stop something, not going forward with something
closed- something has stopped, not longer available
think-thoughts in my mind

I think this dream has to do with wanting to communicate with my son about having contact with his sons. I am being passive about this. (I watch two others give their talks). I lose my notes. I don’t know how to approach him about this. I think by making myself small, meek (crawling) this will help me communicate with him better. That doesn’t work. I am trying out ways to approach my son and the old way is not going to work (can’t find my notes and did not save them on the computer). There is a gift involved, but I do not know what it is (can’t remember the gift in the dream). I call to cancel my talk. I am giving up on how to approach Kevin, what to say. Then I find out the whole University closed. University could related to higher learning. Maybe, I am missing out on higher learning by not communicating with Kevin about getting reconnected to my grandsons.