Category: Denise

(Thursday, May 3, 2018) waning gibbous moon Sagittarius, conjunct galactic center

Dreamt all night, with just a few scenes from the long movie illuminated:

1.

My home seems to be part of a large conference center or community living space. It’s a bit messy. Life has been too chaotic for me to keep up with the housework. I know Chris’ mom is coming, so I quickly vacuum the wooden floor and am surprised to discover that the space is now immaculately clean. Pleasantly pristine, with no additional effort on my part.

I then see that Kay has arrived. She stands in the middle of the kitchen with the kind of grey absence of focus she had when her dementia progressed. She doesn’t notice me. She has a slight scowl on her face, the expression of confusion caused by the dimming of mind. A blank stare.

I know she has passed, so I wonder about this visitation. What message am I to glean from her presence? Her lack of presence?

2.

While I ruminate upon this in my dream, I see that my deceased paternal grandparents Helen and Edwin are entering my house too. They have not appeared in any dream for many years. Why are they here? I am again surprised. A visitation by three ancestors, all of whom lived well into their nineties. All died of congestive heart failure. All had painful, unsuccessful romantic relationships.

3.

Later in the dream I wander away from my home and enter the dream conference. It’s busy. Sheila A. is there, telling bawdy stories of the multiple sexual affairs she has been having. These sorts of stories do not entertain me: they are an expression of the ego element of the IASD that turns me off.

When I wake up, I consider that someone from my father’s family and from Kay’s family may pass soon. In contradiction, my mother’s sister-in-law and childhood friend, my aunt Deloris, is in hospice care.

(Saturday, April 28, 2018) Pink Moon in Libra / tarot 10 of swords reversed

Today was Victoria’s dream workshop at French Park. She instructed us to bring a dream. Since our group had worked my “Synchronous Visions” dream the evening before (my 61st birthday), I brought my “Bodhisattva Combats The Dark Force” dream. This morning I arrived early at the park, so I checked my emails while waiting in the car. I was astonished to see a message from David, the lovely soul I met in Glastonbury last year on my 60th birthday. The mandala ceremony is underway there now, and he is attending. I have been planning to create a clay sculpture of a priest, a spiritual master, using David’s likeness. My heart was overwhelmed all day by the holy synchronicity of this communication. My chest and lungs physically ache.

Here is my poem about the bodhisattva dream:

I am fused with my hacker-lover.

I am guided by his Mastery of the Scorched Earth, laser-burning through the firewall.

We move like clouds, full of electricity.

I have long dreams all night but this scene at the very end, before I awaken, stands out:

The sensation is that of my childhood. The room I am in feels like the south corner of the family living room, near the door connected to the side entry and kitchen. The tones look like those viewed on an early color television. Slightly muted, a bit pink in hue.

Two old wooden televisions are set against the 60s-era beige wall. They are identical, the same model, pushed closely together like a pair of eyes. I scribble acronyms with crayons onto each screen, duplicating on the right TV what I scribe onto the left TV: UFO, ET, etc. I wipe some letters off, and then replace them with different combinations. UFO is the last set of letters I remember writing before I wake up.

Day notes:

The first thing that came to my waking mind was the word “channel.” I am going to attend a channeling session at Carondolet next Saturday by a friend of Eric C. named Kelly Thebo. She channels a group of aliens called “The Collective.” I will ask them about my childhood dreams and experiences with ETs.