(Wednesday, December 20, 2017) moon waxing crescent Capricorn / tarot Star
A visually simple dream that takes place in a near-void. Grey and dim. No walls or ceilings or floors.
A woman sits at the center of a white table. She is a writer, masterfully guiding a dream workshop. She must be Victoria, but she doesn’t look like Victoria. Her hair is lighter in color, silvery-brown. She wears less jewelry than Victoria’s decorative Santa Fe style.
I sit at the far end of the white table, which reminds me of the table at Susan’s workshop in Virginia Beach that Bonnie and I attended. Next to me is a young woman poet, a gifted, professional writer. She sits very close, nearly embracing me, and quietly, lovingly describes my poetic genius. With gratitude, I purse my lips in Jill Purce’s “rabbit mouth” posture, chanting: “mindfunda!”
Day notes:
I have been unusually depressed this fall, experiencing deep shame from poor life decisions of decades past. One night I even felt I deserved to die. On a spiritual level I understand that I am paying karmic debts, willingly, but my ego feels sorrow and remorse. Alchemical yellowing. Monday Peter asked the Dreamsters if we were open to inviting a friend of his to become a new member, and I thought this might be the right time for me to step away from our dream group. I constantly struggle with the Ullman method and with the psychology of dreams, even though I have read dozens (maybe hundreds) of books on the subject. I often feel that I offer little contribution to the Dreamsters. Last night I was obsessed with this anxiety for hours. So the dream calmed me a bit.
I received an email today from Cullan’s girlfriend Hillary, who is a professional writer. A loving young woman.
Great fun in my studio today working on Black Wolf Romeo. Tuesday morning after dream group I had this inspiration: create clay sculptures for people of their dream images or spirit animals. Cullan could help me with the website.
The table in my home office, where I used to host the Dreamsters, is white.
I have four hundred dreams recorded in this blog. At some point I would like to make them available to IASD researchers, if that is of value. The way dreams are written is critical to me.
I created a fun, hip-looking logo this week for a new program at work called “Mindfit.”
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