Category: Denise

(Sunday, September 3, 2017) moon waxing gibbous Aquarius / tarot seven of wands

I have dream after dream and awake at 3 am. I do not fall back to sleep till 5. I have a lucid dream that feels a bit like vertigo within a void. A vortex. But I have no body and I am not really spinning. I AM the void, and my consciousness is expanding, without limit. My lucid mind tries to slow this down a little so my tiny human ego can gain some understanding of what is happening. The speed feels quantum: beyond the mechanical, physical realm.

Ryan Hurd did his MA thesis on this very topic. He calls it imageless lucid dreaming. Robert Waggoner calls it the grey state, Ed Kellogg calls it The Matrix, Fariba Bogzaran calls it hyper-space lucidity.

(Thursday, August 29, 2017) moon waxing gibbous Sagitarrius / tarot maiden of blades

These days, even if I don’t recall my dreams, I wake up with the sensation that I have been active and aware all night long. Doing lots of work.

Last night I dream I am sharing space with the members of my immediate family: Chris, Cullan, my siblings and my nieces and nephews. I don’t recall my parents being in the dream, but they may have been.

We are all preparing for sleep in the upper floor of a large house. Ancestral home. The emotional and physical pains each have suffered in their lifetimes are close to the surface. I can experience each source of pain very clearly. I walk into Chris’ bathroom and his pain is expressed by an unflushed toilet and a shower curtain stained with blood and puss. My nephew’s bathroom is also neglected and chaotic. My sister Jamie writhes in agony inside of an open crate like the one in my Cosmic Cocoon dream.

My “boundary thinness” is creating worry for my own emotional strength. Can I handle this intense generational suffering? I decide to descend to an empty lower floor. Immediately, I sense an ominous energy there, and so I return to the upper story.

My consciousness has changed. I am now able to perceive this upper reality like a lucid dream. A huge black and grey cloud fills my vision. I understand that I can tease unlimited realities from the body of the cloud. The field. But I decide to allow dreams/manifestations to develop on their own. Without influence from my desires. My ego.

(Friday, August 25, 2017) moon waxing crescent Virgo / tarot Devil reversed

The wildest, most psychedelic dream. Under the influence of psilocybin or ayahuasca, or so it seems! Normally dreams slip away as we move from sleep to awakening, but this one eludes because of its lack of logic. Because it is so exotic I can barely grasp the plot and flow of events. I may have much of it wrong.

It begins with an encounter with a master being that is alien or multidimensional. It has the soul or energy of an owl with universal intelligence and connection to many levels of consciousness. I too carry some of these owl genetics and spirit. But I am modestly human in comparison.

The Owl Master Soul hands me an egg the size of a pineapple. I am unsure if it is an animal egg or the seed of a plant. I carry it gently in my arms until I find an open wooden crate where I feel it will be protected, and I place it inside, covering it with soft grasses. My sister (Bonnie or Jo?) has placed another egg in a wooden crate next to mine.

After allowing time for gestation, I return to the nested egg. My expectations for the survival of the pod are very low, so what I discover is shocking. A true paradigm shift.

The egg has doubled in size. It has developed whispy feelers, nerves, that fill the crate like spider webs. Cocoon. The nucleus of the egg glows with a pulsing light and begins to speak to me! It has a cosmic intelligence that my human mind can barely fathom.

It is time for me to learn from this cosmic consciousness. I am overwhelmed, and humbled. More than a little frightened.