Category: Denise

(Friday, May 19, 2017) moon third quarter Pisces / tarot Moon

A very long dream that feels like it fills the entire night. I am conscious during dreaming of my effort to deepen and store the details. But what remains, primarily, is emotional memory, not visual or verbal recall:

I am a member of a very large spiritual retreat, attended mostly by women. As I move through the various rooms and buildings, many women approach me in a gentle, loving manner. They embrace me and whisper beautiful descriptions of my soul and higher purpose into my ear. They gaze directly into my eyes. This is so overwhelming and unexpected that only when I am alone do I realize that I wish I had reciprocated their blessings. They are all such precious, evolved human beings. I feel completely honored and respected. Connected at the heart.

At the end of the dream I am sitting on the wooden floor of the main meeting room with a friend (Bebetta from Milan?). I say to her that this ceremony honors the goddess Astarte. Neither of us are familiar with the goddess, but there are books about her nearby and we reach for them.

Day notes

This dream mirrors the Red Tara retreat at Glastonbury. I did actually verbally reciprocate honors to each participant during the “enlightenment dance” part of the mandala.

Astarte is an ancient moon goddess, dating back to the Neolithic. She was called the Mother of the Universe and Queen of the Stars.

I met a family at the mandala that had once lived in the Rudolf Steiner community in Germany (like Thom Hartmann). The mother’s name is Astrid, “from the stars.” At first, her son, daughter and husband seemed a bit suspicious of me as I described the Sunday morning arguments between my parents about attending church, since the focus of their lives has always been spiritual community (the daughter performs ayahuasca ceremonies). We grew closer over the course of the week, however, and I felt a wonderful connection to them. Astrid and her son were particularly loving towards me. We exchanged very warm embraces as they parted for their home in Portugal. Even as I think of this I miss them.

(Saturday, May 12, 2017) moon waning gibbous Sagittauris / tarot Hermit

I am on a retreat journey in the Himalayas. Our group walks a narrow path through a mountain pass blanketed with snow. I have been on spiritual gatherings many times with everyone here, over the course of hundreds or perhaps thousands of years. I recall each episode in complete detail.

Alysia Miller, the designer I work with in Phoenix, is at the back of the trail. She is suffering from serious health issues. Somehow I have visibility to her medical test results: the numbers shift erratically, like Chris’ heart rhythms undergoing atrial fibrillation.

She must rest. She cannot continue to walk. I find a primitive sled made of small logs bound together with twine. I embrace her gently and lower her down onto the wooden carrier. I will pull her along the trail behind me.

As she relaxes onto the sled, a giant red and gold bird nuzzles us both, lovingly. The bird is the size of a human, maybe bigger, with soft, silky, downy feathers. Like an owl. The sweet touch of feathers brings me total joy.

Day notes:

There were two women at the Red Tara retreat in Glastonbury named Alycia. One was my roommate, a psychologist from Lithuania.

Chris’ pre-op test results came in the mail today. His atrial fibrillation is pretty constant these days.

On our way to the St. Croix Valley Pottery Tour this morning, Cullan and I passed by a giant chainsaw sculpture of a cardinal. Red bird.

Dream during my 60th birthday retreat in Glastonbury:

I am gathering prairie plants on my grandmother’s farm, in a field near the gold-red gravel road that is the entrance to the acreage. Facing away from the road, I spy a black wolf moving through the tall grass to my left, perhaps thirty feet away.

Carefully, I turn toward the road, crossing over it and walking quietly down into the cool, shallow ditch. Hoping that the wolf will not notice me.

But he has. He runs rapidly across the road and leaps for my jugular. I grab him by his teeth, my right hand on his uppers and my left on his lowers, pulling his jaw apart with great strength. My power is equal to his, if not greater.

Day notes:

The tarot card I pulled for my journey was Strength, which often shows an Empress/May Queen holding open a lion’s jaw.