Category: Denise

(Thursday, December 29, 2016)

I am with a large crowd of worshippers, moving in long lines to enter a simple, but beautiful, cathedral. The cathedral has a medieval air and a traditional structure: tall gothic ceiling, stained glass windows, wooden pews, stone floors. My progression of fellow devotees is at the back of the cathedral, near the baptismal font and not the altar. A gentle, holy priest stands in the midst of the great throng, helping us all find our way. Some of us are able to fly, like angels. The priest signals to us, reminding us of our gift of flight. I am one of those who levitate into place.

Day notes:

The priest in this dream reminds me of Father Keeffe, who was our priest after the 1965 tornadoes, when mass had to be held at the high school gymnasium. My first communion ceremony took place there. He was the founding pastor of St. William’s church, the progressive Catholic church we attended as children. He felt like a very holy man to me, as none of the priests that followed him ever did.

Today I looked Father Keeffe up on the web and found that he passed away in 2015 at the age of 93. I was surprised to see that he had once been the priest at St. Mary’s of the Lake, next to Wayzata East Middle School, less than two miles from my house. He is buried in Windsted, just a little bit west of here. Twenty-five years ago my friend Jana and I were biking along the Luce Line, which is a block from where I live now (then I lived in Elk River). Tornado sirens went off so we veered off the trail and took shelter in a restaurant in Long Lake. As we sat drinking coffee, I told her the story of the Fridley tornadoes and about how our church services had to be performed at the high school gym. As we chatted, I picked up a local newspaper (probably the Lakeshore Weekly News) and found a story about Father Keeffe! I often unnerved Jana in that way. She did not handle magical / mystical / synchronous events well.

Monday, January 2: We passed by St. Mary’s on the Lake parish on our way to the ER on Thursday. Yesterday Chris said, “The actor who played Father Mulcahy on M*A*S*H* died.”

(Thursday, December 29, 2016)

I am in my maternal grandmother’s humble but pristine living room. Guests are entering and more are on their way. My father has instructed me to vacuum, and I have been doing this with a hose with a brush on the end. My mother’s mother and my father’s mother were both fanatical housekeepers, so my father sharply criticizes my device and technique. He hands me a new vacuum hose with a tiny, tiny suction end that looks like a miniature firehose. He tells me to run the suction head along every single seam and baseboard in the room. I think he is being crazy, but I comply as best I can. The family party begins, and I head upstairs.

The upper floor of the house is completely open, with beautiful wooden rafters that peak in a pyramid. A sleeping alcove has recently been built for me, along the edge of the main area. It has a low ceiling with a very long bed. Chris is upstairs, too, standing in the main room. We have a conversation that has drifted out of my memory.

 

Yesterday I went to see Marlene for my “year ahead” tarot reading. I love her technique: rather than settling on one card to answer a question, she uses multiple decks. By the end of the session the small table is stacked with layers and layers of cards.

Chris:

The Death card came up immediately. I said I had a recent dream where Chris told me he would be leaving soon. For years I have dreamt of his death but this is the first dream where he informs me of his plan. Even so, Marlene did not interpret the card literally. She said it is time to let go of the pain and fear around his decades of ill health. Certainly that is an excellent idea that benefits my own wellbeing. I always accept the content of our readings together but do not always agree with her interpretations or advice.

She said that I am the reason he is still alive, and Chris and I say amen to that. We are spiritual soul mates, although less than perfectly connected in our day-to-day obsessions. He does have an uncanny understanding of my hidden eccentricities. 99% of the time he appears oblivious to my true nature but when the 1% revelations occur, I am completely rattled by his mysterious, accurate intuition. He knows me better than I know myself.

Cullan:

She always says, “He will be OK.” He makes good choices in his relationships but is still too immature for marriage. His desire to play the field is strong. Marlene says his open and highly sensitive heart makes it difficult for him to fit into the normal male patterns of our culture.

Work:

Accept the promotion Louis offered a few months ago. It will actually make my life easier.

Creativity:

A highly creative period is ahead, even though I am employed full time.

Lola:

This was the most eerie part of the meeting. It brought me to tears and Marlene said it took her to a place she does not usually go. In a reading from a few years past, Marlene said Lola is not an ordinary cat, that her energy field is extremely expansive. I had a dream that confirmed that wild concept. Yesterday I told Marlene that Lola and I have been sharing dreams. The cards she drew in response shook her up a bit. Marlene is a pragmatic earth sign, but the cards told her that at one time Lola had been human, that she is my teacher and I am her physical healer. That idea echoes a lovely quote from Eckhart Tolle, “I have lived with several Zen masters — all of them cats.”

Workshops:

We discussed the dream conference. I worry that Chris will have last-minute health issues that prevent me from attending. I told her I have been drawn to Jill Purce’s sound healing workshops in Glastonbury. I wanted to go last year but ended up giving the money to Alea so she could buy her house.

The cards Marlene drew about Jill and Glastonbury were so positive that she just laughed and said, “I can’t even begin to describe why this is so wonderful for you.” I have had the same result when I have done my own readings. She did go on to explain that this experience would take my consciousness to the next level and begin to merge my dreaming and waking life. What Sabine calls manifestation. Marlene said this experiential retreat is beyond what the more intellectual, academic approach of the IASD conference offers. Jill is married to the brilliant Rupert Sheldrake and was a Fellow at King’s College, London. Their sons are named Cosmos and Merlyn!

T’ai-Chi Rob and Robert:

Marlene gave me a reading when I was struggling with my relationship with Rob. She advised me to stay in his class but I could not. Yesterday  I had to tell her about how strange it was that Pat ended up living in Robert’s house. It was healing for me when Rob called to ask for my reference for Pat.

Marlene confessed, after hearing this little story, that she and Robert had had an affair many years ago, when they both were married to other people! She called Robert a womanizer and egomaniac. I agree. Why beautiful Rob puts up with that is a mystery to me. I hope it works out well for our Pat.

General Direction:

It’s time to let go of pain. Marlene talked about my north node in Scorpio, in the fifth house, which I have been researching for the last couple of years. Moving from concern for the collective to devotion to the individual creative, mystical and sensual. The card ruling this new year is the Ace of Cups.