Category: Denise

(Sunday, October 2, 2016) moon: waxing crescent Libra / tarot: Judgement

I am crossing a narrow pedestrian suspension bridge with Chris. It’s grey and foggy. I see nothing below the bridge, not a canyon nor a river, but I am not looking directly below me. I look across to the end of the bridge. I can feel the energetic nature of the bridge. It vibrates through the structure and through my body, rhythmically. The high loop of the wave feels strong and physical, the low end feels like dissolution into empty space. Quantum. I am equally comfortable with both sensations.

Chris leans heavily against me and I am in danger of falling over the edge, into the abyss. I tell him, sharply, to back off. This surprises him and his feelings are slightly hurt.

I make it to the other side but I don’t know if Chris comes with me. He may be there in spirit.

Cullan appears and I am happy to see him. We are in a wooded area filled with red brick warehouses, none taller than two or three stories. Cullan lives here now, as have I in the past. In one small forest we see a petite, curving country lane painted with fire-engine red and bright white arrows and circles. Earth art? Conceptual art? Medicine wheel?

We are enjoying touring many of the buildings, which are full of fun objects and beautifully designed rooms. Maybe it’s an art crawl like I used to attend in the North Loop, when the WARM gallery and New French Cafe were still there.

I have an appointment with my endocrinologist, and the office is far away, so we need to find the vehicle which I left behind many years ago. I dig through a pocket full of keys and find a set that I think may be the correct ones. Cullan and I look in vain through several structures, when I realize the vehicle is probably stored close to his house. We focus on his neighborhood. It is much too late for me to make my appointment, but I do want my car back.

Day notes:

(Precognition) my daily email from Dr. Mercola is about water tables contaminated with endocrine-disruptive chemicals. Thank you 3M.

I have really been struggling with Chris’ health in the last week. Friday he smiled and said I needed to stay strong and healthy. That just made me feel crushed and unsupported. Grim.

I have many recurring dreams of red brick buildings in the Minneapolis warehouse district and am beginning to think they may be my own personal symbol of the akashic record. Storage buildings.

After this dream I had an episode of sleep paralysis (suffocation). I took an online survey from Ryan Hurd yesterday, as he is planning a webinar on this subject and is asking for input on the content.

(Saturday, October 1, 2016) new moon Libra / tarot six of wands

I enter a room where two of my coworkers (Katie and Alysia?) are working very hard, with many long hours yet to go. I climb into a white feathery bed at the edge of the room. Cloud-like and heavenly! I need to nap and dream for just an hour, and then my work is complete. When I awake from my dreaming, I am awarded the prize I have been hoping for.

Day notes:

I check my emails today as soon as I get out of bed. Sylvia from the IASD tells me I have been chosen to be an art volunteer at the 2017 conference. Dream prize!

Dreams have been even more precognitive than usual. I had a dream on September 15 called “No Password, No Passport.” In it, I struggle to get a password for my (Apple) iPhone, which is stolen twice and in the end replaced by an older, “un-smart” phone. Later in the dream Bonnie and I take a river journey to the Netherlands where I discover my passport is missing. In real life, my (Apple) Macbook died shortly after the dream and I was given two replacements, each of which required me to dig around to find the passwords to access the drives. Later, our tech team gave me a workaround for my own Macbook which involved attaching a device called “My Passport.” It is the shape and size of a passport.

(Wednesday, September 14, 2016) moon waxing gibbous Aquarius / tarot Sybil (ace of swords)

Chris and I have arrived at a large conference in the Netherlands. We are moving through the ballroom, mixing with the crowd at the opening reception. As I walk, I am trying to connect my phone to the wireless network, with no success. Frustrated, I go back to the registration desk for help. The registration volunteer tells me the password is “getthesalt” (get the salt).

But even though I now have the correct password, I cannot get my phone to work. It keeps cycling through my apps and will not stop at the settings app. Sometimes Siri kicks in, shouting at me in a ghostly male voice so loudly aggressive I hide my phone to keep others from being disturbed. I give up trying to connect, temporarily, and put my phone in the back pocket of my hiking trousers.

Chris and I walk outside to join hundreds of conventioneers at a yoga practice. Before we reach the exercise field, I pull the phone from my pocket and try it again. It’s not my phone. Someone has stolen my iPhone and replaced it with a tiny, old “un-smart” phone.

We stand in the field in formation together. Lou H. of the IASD is in the line behind us. He is an expert at yoga but his ankle is injured. He is deferential to my skill: he calls me a master. I feel much less than that.

In the dream I am never able to see Chris’ face, and he never speaks. He has the presence of a doll or a mythical character. Not a living, breathing human being. He has two arms and two healthy legs: no physical impairments as in waking life.

The dream shifts. Bonnie and I are entering a simple wooden boat with a broad hull. We are on a river cruise with several dozen people and will be staying onboard at least one night. We know that our cabin is at the rear of the boat, the stern. But at the moment there are only spare wooden benches for us to sit on. There are no cabins. I don’t even see an engine. I wonder if this boat will be replaced by another, or if the cabins will manifest at the appointed time. It feels like a magical ship, motored and steered by the consciousness of the passengers.

We head down the wide river. It is full of people from all over the world, of every race and nationality. Mostly young, beautiful women. They are standing in the shallow water, splashing and bathing, speaking all languages. We near a fork in the flow and stay to the right. We travel to a small toll station at the edge of the river. An older Dutch workman is there to collect our Euros and review our passports.

I have no passport! How have I made it out of Schipohl Airport to the conference and the cruise? The toll agent is willing to let me pass. I fill his open palm with shiny silver Euros. He is not looking for an under-the-table fee: I just don’t know how to count Euros. I am very worried I will not make it past the next tollbooth. I consider leaving the boat so as not to hinder the timing for the rest of the travelers, and maybe find a way to the left fork of the river. Yet I have made it this far with no password and no passport …

Day notes:

Salt in alchemy is the earth. Get the salt (gestalt?) = get grounded. Which is a bit ironic: connect to “the cloud” without a grounding wire. A complicated idea!

I have been on Skype calls every morning this week with Kleopatra in our Amsterdam office. She is from Greece, and is a strikingly beautiful young woman who speaks Greek, French, Dutch and English.

I think the lack of password and passport are reflections of the fact that I have made it this far in the world without any paperwork, without a degree. It certainly affects my level of self confidence. Un-smart.

Nether: lying or believed to lie beneath the earth’s surface; infernal: the nether regions. The River Styx?

September 15: My Mac started acting up today. First came the “out of memory” message followed by more issues. The IT guys are trying to fix it tonight.

September 16: My Macbook is still in the shop. My boss Louis (Lou?) found an old, slow Macbook for me to use temporarily. It took three people to get the password to work. Even once I got in, it was pretty worthless because the software was outdated.