Fire and Ice

(Sunday, November 24, 2013)

Felix's Bag of Tricks
Felix’s Bag of Tricks

The Office

I work for a company that makes office equipment, headquartered in the basement of a building in downtown Minneapolis. It’s morning; I open the front door and walk down the wide, shallow stone stairs into the lower level of the building. At the bottom of the stairs are two rooms. Everyone but me works in the large office to my left; I work in a smaller room to the right. My work is completely different from everyone else’s. A large logo/totem of Felix the Cat fills the wall in my office that separates the two spaces.

Dakini Mama
Dakini Mama (under construction)

The Studio

After a short workday, I head out to my clay studio, which is also downtown and within walking distance of my job. I only have an hour to work on my piece: I need to leave the studio by eleven for a meeting with my Mother.

I’ve created a small, doll-like sculpture. I think of her as a dakini. I need to make five small dakinis that attach to the larger piece. I have no idea how I can manage this in the short amount of time available to me, but the tiny dolls seem to make themselves. Two of them sit on the edge of a superhero cape worn by the large dakini, facing away from her like guardian spirits. Another is affixed to the heart and one sits on top of the head of the larger doll. The fifth little sprite amazes me. She stands alone, a warrior spirit with a translucent blue faceted-glass headdress. She holds a jewel-like glass sword in each fist. I am completely delighted by the powerful little dolls. I rush out the door and hop in my car.

The Conference

My first destination is a busy dream conference. I’m in a hurry. My goal is to replace my cotton bedding with silk coverlets; I find a vendor selling beautiful silk handiwork. I pick out a large coverlet with royal blue and turquoise threads, and a throw woven of magenta and scarlet threads. I love the way the play of light on silk makes the colors shimmer and shift. I pay for my treasures and get back on the road.

The Quest

I drive south along highway 101 to pick up Jeanne Peppel and a few other people (our dream group?) at the intersection of 101 and 7. At this geographic location, the grade of the landscape increases dramatically. I have to back up the car and take a running charge to make the climb. Ice seems to be affecting the vehicle’s traction, too. Spinning wheels.

I’m the designated driver, but Jeanne is our guide. She directs us west to Lake Minnetonka and the city of Excelsior. It feels as though the poles have shifted 180 degrees. As I travel south on 101, the sensation in my body is that I am traveling north. When I turn west onto 7, I feel I am turning east. Excelsior Bay (south) feels like Wayzata Bay (north).

When the lake comes into view, we all exit the car and travel on foot along the shoreline. Ice is just beginning to form at water’s edge. We tread lightly but the ice-mud crunches beneath our feet. The lake is grey, not royal blue like Minnetonka in summer, and I cannot see across. It must be an ocean.

The Mission

After walking carefully in single file for a long while, Jeanne turns to face us. It’s time for our group to work on our fundraiser. We are making candles shaped like the ice flows of glaciers and donating the proceeds to help people displaced by climate change. The candles look like the ones my mother taught us to make as children by pouring hot paraffin into a milk carton full of ice.

 

Day notes:

Bonnie and I went to see Susan Griffin and Mark Seeley present on climate change (“What is the Cosmos Telling Us?”) at Carondelet Wisdom Ways this weekend. Susan wrote the first eco-feminist book and is a member of Code Pink. James Balog’s film about the death of the glaciers, “Chasing Ice,” was shown Friday evening.

The order of the Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondelet started in St. Louis, Missouri, Jeanne Peppel’s hometown.

I do work for a company that makes office equipment.

I have been working on a little clay doll. She drives a Volare (Italian: to fly) station wagon and is based on a dream I had in 2011.

“Felix the cat, the wonderful wonderful cat. Whenever he gets in a fix, he reaches into his bag of tricks.” Felix (meaning “Lucky”) is a Trickster/Magician character. His medicine bag mirrors the Magician’s in the tarot. One of my favorite childhood cartoons. I believe my black cat Lola tricked me into exploring acupuncture, Traditional Chinese Medicine and T’ai-Chi (because of my desperation to find a healing modality that worked for her). My coworker Cyndi gave me a little black bendy cat that sits on my desk. My black cat is good luck!

I have been dreaming a lot about silk. From the web: “Silk is made by silkworms fed with mulberry leaves. Because of this labor intensive process, it was traditionally only available to the wealthy. It has become a symbol of luxury.” And: “The silk moth is a multicultural symbol of rebirth and reincarnation. It is also connected with metamorphosis, as it changes from the caterpillar to the moth after a period of silky gestation. Admired more than many common moths for their symmetry of pattern and colour, and the preciousness of their fibres, they are also connected with the night and the flame, creatures of secrets and illumination. The silk worm feeds on the mulberry, so ingests wisdom. However, the continuous fibre that they weave is ultimately to their own doom, as unravelling the thread will kill the insect.” I have several mulberry trees in my yard. I am always transfixed by the gorgeous silks worn by ordinary women and men at the Indian dance events my friend Suchi Sairam creates.

Dakini (Sanskrit): A female messenger of wisdom. From the web: “Dakinis are elusive and playful by nature; trying to nail them down with a neat definition means missing them, since defying narrow intellectual concepts is at the core of their wise game … The dakini principle must not be oversimplified, as it carries many levels of meaning. On an outer level, accomplished female practitioners were called dakinis. But ultimately, though she appears in female form, a dakini defies gender definitions. The Tibetan word for dakini, khandro, means ‘sky-goer’ or ‘space-dancer,’ which indicates that these ethereal awakened ones have left the confinements of solid earth and have the vastness of open space to play in.”

The five wisdom dakinis appear in the first five days of the bardo (after death, the space between incarnations): Day 1 Wisdom of Universal Law (white/ether); Day 2 Wisdom of the Mirror (blue/water); Day 3 Wisdom of Equality (yellow/earth); Day 4 Wisdom of Distinction and Discernment (red/fire); Day 5 Wisdom of Action and Accomplishment (green/air). These five dakinis also sync with the five themes of my dream.

I have a meeting with Mother Nature at the Eleventh Hour.

The flame melts our handmade candles just as global warming melts the glaciers.

In my dream of mountain chalets from a few weeks ago, I had to gun the engine of my vehicle to make it up a very steep slope.

Turquoise, from the web: “For nearly a thousand years, Native Americans have mined and fashioned turquoise, using it to guard their burial sites. Their gems have been found from Argentina to New Mexico. Indian priests wore it in ceremonies when calling upon the great spirit of the sky. Many honored turquoise as the universal stone, believing their minds would become one with the universe when wearing it. Because of its ability to change colors, it was used in prophesy or divining. To the prehistoric Indian, turquoise, worn on the body or used in ceremonies always signified the god of the sky alive in the earth.” Peter gifted us all with beautiful turquoise stones from Arizona.

Magenta, from the web: “Magenta completes the chakric circuit, by joining the crown and base chakras together … If the visible spectrum is wrapped to form a colour wheel, magenta appears between red and blue.”

Excelsior is a Latin adjective meaning “higher” or “loftier,” used in English as an interjection with a poetic meaning of “ever upward.” (Wordsworth poem)

Yesterday Chris showed me a cartoon on YouTube of a Felix-style animation. Very old. The cat was dancing with a young girl. Not sure why he felt compelled to show it to me.

Waking Dream: Salt Cave

(Friday, November 15, 2013)  A woman named Terry Peterson made a deep impression on me at the Mankato Women’s Spirituality Conference in October. I took her “Soul Breathing” workshop while Pat and Bonnie were conducting their dream class.

Last night I attended Terry’s monthly session at the Salt Cave on Nicollet Avenue. Who else should appear but Eric Christopher, the past life regression therapist I met with last winter. A few weeks ago he started taking the T’ai-Chi intro class that meets right after my 6:30 beginner class. He told me he went to Stout with Terry from my T’ai-Chi class and with Terry Peterson, so he has known them both for over twenty years. He also takes a “free dance” class with the Terrys and Sifu Rob. He’s been a part of the Soul Breathing sessions for the last year.

The weirdness of all that shook me up a bit. In my morning tarot meditation I had drawn Kali the Awakener (the Tower). The card image is of the Indian goddess Kali discharging lightning bolts from her open palms.

The sensations breathwork create in the body are very electrical. Every cell vibrates with a constant, low-level charge that lasts about 45 minutes. I love it. Eventually Terry calls in the spirit guides and angels: the cave pulses with an other-worldly energy, like an open portal. The glow of the cave reminds me of the inside of my kiln at two-thousand degrees. We the Soul Breathers are earthenware pots transforming in the fire. I feel gentle flames brush the middle of my spine and my forehead. At this point I start to receive messages about people in my life, past and present. The dark-haired woman who has guided my dreams for decades says she is my Native great-great grandmother. Everyone who appears to me is bathed in unconditional love.

http://straightbamboo.com/eat-sleep-breathe/the-benefits-of-breathwork/

Flight of Stairs

(Saturday, November 9, 2013)  The dream begins with me flying high in the sky, arms outstretched like an airplane. Just a few moments into the dream, this image collapses and I find myself seated in an airplane as it arrives at a small airport in The Netherlands. The pilot has to make a quick, dangerous landing and almost overshoots the short runway.

An English-speaking woman from Germany is seated next to me. She is an artist like me and we are friends. We are making plans to take Dutch language lessons together. She has been living in Holland for awhile but I am a new immigrant. Chris has purchased a house on the shore of the North Sea and I am on my way there. My friend and I visit a few small gift shops together, but then I head on alone to my new home.

The house is large, three stories tall. When I arrive, Chris is inside, working with a contractor on the suspended iron staircase in the center of the house. The stairs are completely open, with no walls, and the steps are wooden slats, like rungs of a ladder. There might be a metal handrail. The plan is to replace all of the steps and I question the contractor about this. He shows me how the slats, over time, have weakened, becoming over-flexed. They vibrate dramatically when anyone tries to walk up them.

I leave them to their work. I miss my old house already, so I decide to go for a walk and visit. It’s a long walk: I’m traveling to another country. When I reach the busy boulevard where the house is located (on my left) I am surprised to see that I am in a valley beneath very tall mountains. I remember the neighborhood but not the vertical peaks (to my right).

Day notes:

Sifu Rob talks about how energy work like T’ai-Chi creates a new body. He says one may therefore dream of a new house, which is indeed the predominant theme in my dreams lately. The dream staircase is structured like the spine (the center of T’ai-Chi and yoga). Slats are like vertebrate. Perhaps energy work is strengthening my skeletal system.

I worked with Gabriele Pillman on Friday, who is from Germany. My coworker and friend Bob Hill left for Amsterdam Friday night.

I spent last weekend in Highland Park, Illinois, visiting my artist friend Anne, who is from Provence and owns a house in the French Alps. Her Chicago house is half a block from Lake Michigan, the inland sea. North Sea.

The Dreamsters Union