Denise – Page 56 – TheDreamstersUnion

04/06/202504/07/2025

3/17/25 Deb Has Died

I am with a group of women. We are staying over night at a nice hotel in St. Cloud which has been updated. We eat in the Italian restaurant at the hotel. I eat a small pizza, but am still hungry. Someone gives me Deb’s spaghetti. I start to eat it and then am told that Deb has died. I go right into denial. I tell myself that I cannot grieve right now.

The women and I go to our rooms and sleep. The next morning, we get ready to leave. I look in the linen closet thinking I will change the sheets. I then realize, I am in a hotel and I do not have to change the sheets. We get into a van. I am driving. I slowly pull out of the parking place and into the traffic.

The main emotion is shock about Deb dying.

I worked a bit on this dream with my sister, Chris. Here is what I wrote:

If this were my dream I am with my feminine energy. I lived in St. Cloud for two years. It was a transitional time between living in Tower and the cities. St. Cloud is a conservative place and was not welcoming to Paul and I. (neither of us could find a good job). In the dream it is updated and looks good. I wonder if something in myself has changed for the better. A hotel is a temporary place to stay, sleep and eat. Maybe I am in a temporary state of some sort. I am hungry. A pizza doesn’t satisfy my hunger. Deb’s spaghetti is filling. Spaghetti is comfort food and pizza and spaghetti are Italian. Something foreign? Food is nurturing. Something about getting nurtured from what Deb gets nurtured from? Deb has died. I think of Deb as being very extroverted, positive and can be an overwhelming energy. Does this dream imply that the part of me that Deb represents needs to die? Or is it a warning to nurture myself more. Deb is an amazing cook in waking life. I am going to change the sheets. I love clean sheets in waking life. They feel like a renewal/new beginning. However, in the dream, I realize it is not my responsibility to change the sheets. I am driving the van, so I am in charge of my life.

Chris suggests I need to love/nurture myself more.

04/03/202504/03/2025

Lucid Dream: Flying For My Soulmate

(Thursday, April 3, 2025) waxing crescent moon Gemini / tarot High Priestess

A very lucid dream with strong physical sensations. I am standing at the back of my Rustic Lodge house, in the three-season porch, wishing to find my soul mate. I decide to fly out into the universe. I fly through walls and closed windows and that makes me understand the dream is lucid. I feel the physical reality of the 3D elements I am flying through, but I must be in a different dimension, because nothing impedes me.

I fly towards the sky and the upper atmosphere of our planet. Outer space. I am focused on my search for my soul mate, nothing else. But very soon I feel I am complete, a full being. So I return to my home.

A female neighbor is outside, in the backyard connected to mine. I can tell it is decades in the past, because there are no garages, no fences. She chats with me like we are both adults, but I point out to her that she appears to be a child. She is resting on a swing-set.

Day notes:

The sensation of physical reality passing through my spirit is the most emotional part. In the dream I feel my soulmate within me, and realize I have no need to continue searching.

04/02/202504/02/2025

Black Earth Igloo

(Wednesday, April 2, 2025) waxing crescent moon Gemini / tarot Strength

I have a long dream about staying at my Schneider cousins’ house where the bathrooms are falling apart, although I am still able to take an unpleasant shower. That seems to be about my family’s sufferings today. My father is in the ER with hypotension. My mother is finally coming home from rehab at noon, then going to an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon an hour later. My Schneider cousins lost both of their parents years ago. I can’t remember details about a clock element in the early part of the dream. Time is up?

The dream continues to the outdoors. Now I am in my yard, and there is a large igloo-shaped garden made of black soil. A small wooden fence circles around the bottom of the igloo. A few friends are with me and we walk to the top of the half-sphere. It is spring and the plants have not germinated yet. A few old leaves are entwined with stakes. I look at the surface of the soil but don’t see my strawberry runners. No living plants. Something has interfered, perhaps a heavy level of dirt was added or the plants were pulled. I will wait till the weather warms up and replant my garden if needed. The dream ends before I see if the door of the igloo is open or shut. The garden feels like a sculpture made of Mother Earth.

Day notes:

A steep but small hill along my driveway suffered last year. I seeded it over and over again. The bunnies and squirrels dig into the soil and tear up the grass. I would be fine with replacing the grass with black-eyed Susans or coneflowers or another native plant.

An igloo that survives winter. What does that mean?

Just found out my father (with COPD and severe lung issues) is in the hospital with covid. We all thought my mother had it but she refused to be tested and the senior nurse said she didn’t need to be tested. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.