Category: Denise

(Saturday, April 15, 2023) waning crescent moon Aquarius / tarot Hanged Man

My sister Jo is with me in this dream. She is a year younger than I am. She retired last year, a year earlier than my forced retirement in January.

The atmosphere of the dream is dark, nighttime. We wander around together, in and out of bland buildings. Perhaps they are office buildings that deservingly lack my attention.

I cry early on in the dream, my guess is from losing my old job. When my tears are done shedding, Jo and I walk together for quite a long time. We reach a large building and are joined by a young boy child, nearly infant age. A toddler. We find him in a room that mirrors our childhood bedroom. He has been expecting us.

I know it is time to focus on the new child. Jo is very attentive and grateful for his presence, but I begin to weep again. This time I feel deep sorrow in my heart that there is no appreciation for the creativity of my former professional work of 45 years. Jo is a bit impatient with me. I understand her mild frustration, and I will let go of my sadness. I will move on.

Day notes:

I saw a photo posted on LinkedIn yesterday from a former coworker in Europe. It showed a table full of printed samples of literature I had created over the years: catalogs, brochures, flyers. That made me very sad. Management decided that anyone could replace my design skills, which absolutely is not true.

I was envious that Jo had the financial ability to retire at 64. But I met with my financial advisor this week and she said I can retire now if I am ready. That was a huge relief. I now feel less stress and pressure to find a job. Jo must be envious that I received a large severance check because it angered her that her department of over 30 years was eliminated shortly after she retired. She would have been given a large severance check too. Jo had to pay $1,500 a month in COBRA for healthcare, but I was lucky to get Medicare.

The Hanged Man tarot card expresses this dream very clearly.

(Wednesday, April 13, 2023) third quarter moon Aquarius / tarot World

I missed most of this long dream. I only remember the end.

I am in my grandmother’s farmhouse, our ancestral home. I was sleeping in the bed that my sister Jo and I would share as children, but now a couple lies in that bed together: my old boyfriend Alden and his wife. I share with this woman how a kundalini, multidimensional energy experience (a “wow, wow, wow” happening) shifted me away from him. Now she is making the same decision for the same reason, many years later than my choice.

Day notes:

I haven’t seen Alden in years. He liked to date two women at once, which I put up with for a while. The woman he was dating at the same time suddenly died in emergency cancer surgery, leaving behind her five-year-old son. When he started dating a second woman a couple years later, I left him, and he was surprised. He said he loved me. He was a brilliant jazz musician, and I enjoyed hanging out at his different gigs.

I have begun working on my next clay piece, based on the Black Raven dream. I created a mold that is the skirt, torso and tail of the raven-woman. I don’t think I need a mold to add the wings or the woman’s head. We’ll see, but I expect I can do that by hand. This photo is the back of the cardboard guide. Now I’ll start roping clay coils around the structure.

For days I have been trying to decide how to make the feathers for the wings and tail. Today I decided I can use leaves from my outdoor sage plant.