Dream Conference in the Land of Lakes

(Friday, October 21, 2016) moon: third quarter Cancer / tarot: the Dreamer (fool)

This morning I awake from a long, detailed dream with many scenes. I am again at a dream conference. This one seems to be held in our state, in Minnesota. One scene looks out over a wild, wooded lake very similar to the one at the hotel next to the Arboretum that I talked to Bonnie about as a potential site for an IASD conference.

Another scene takes place in a large bathroom shared by men and women (like Rolduc Abbey). I enter to take a shower but am told I must schedule it. Because there are so many guests at the hotel, I can’t just shower whenever I please. In one scene I forget my room key and am late to a presentation. In another I watch my coworker Leah give a demonstration on homemade yogurt recipes for children – no dream content in her talk at all!

The most haunting, resonant scene is with Rob, my former T’ai-Chi teacher. He has talked to me in waking life about studying dreaming at Pacifica. We sit together in stillness. We hold each other by our forearms, gently. I sense his happiness in our warm, physical contact, and I share his affection. Although as a woman, I expect a man to “make the first move.” It has never gone well for me in my life when I have tried to initiate a romantic relationship. I think I am intuiting his love, yet no progress comes from Rob. I start to gradually release my touch, little by little. He does not withdraw, but he does not stop me from abandoning our embrace.

Day notes:

I still receive emails from Rob, I don’t know why he has not removed me from his list. I would ask him to do so but I just can’t bear being in contact with him, in even the most slightly negative manner. When I had my “fight” with him I complained that he supplied no diagram, no video of the T’ai-Chi form movements. I felt that would have helped me tremendously. A few months later, after I left his class, he published a video on YouTube. In the video, he and his mentor Robert perform the Yang long form together.

November 4: I receive a call from Pat this afternoon. He is moving into the house of Robert Larsen, founder of Birthing Life T’ai-Chi, the school I used to attend. Rob Grunewald was my instructor. I never took classes from Robert, because his were held on Saturday, the day I block out for studio time. Bonnie and I went to a dream class at Robert’s house (located between Cedar Lake and Lake of the Isles) a couple of years ago and I found Robert to be a rather intimidating presence. Long story short: Pat gave my name as a reference! A phone conversation with either Robert or Rob is a very upsetting idea to me.

At our retreat at Lake Ossawinnamakee, I did end up using the first floor bathroom to shower because the upstairs bathroom was shared by four people (men and women), and rather busy. Yogurt = yoga? Peter taught yoga and a few folks brought yogurt for breakfast. Cultured milk. Because of Chris’ urgent care visit, I was late to the retreat. I think Lori and Peter used the key to open the cabin on Friday.

November 5: Rob Grunewald calls me about Pat’s rental application. We have a nice, healing conversation. I am very grateful for this. 

November 6: Pat’s application is accepted, and I dream of a distinguished elderly gentleman (like Robert Larsen) showing me and a male friend (must have been Pat!) two bedrooms at the back of his house, which is up for sale. They were once his children’s bedrooms. One has an infant crib alongside a single bed and I am satisfied because I am about to give birth (Birthing Life T’ai-Chi). In real life Robert has two grown daughters.