(Saturday, September 10, 2016) moon first quarter Capricorn / tarot Spider Woman (Wheel of Fortune) reversed
Fragment 1: Chris and I are moving out of a mobile home. We need Cullan’s help, but he is finishing up his own project and has yet to arrive. I am packing clothes and bedclothes. Our cotton duvet cover looks very much like the one I bought at West Elm this spring. I undo safety pins that secure the “hospital corners” (something my grandmother taught me about bed-making as a child). I roll the duvet cover and our clothing around a large wooden pole.
Fragment 2: I am with Cyndi at her oversized RV. It is at least 20 feet tall and 80 feet long. The interior is empty. She has neglected to tell me that King Kong is on his way for one of his periodic visits. I find out and I am terrified. There is no place to hide, nothing to grab onto that would assist climbing a wall to get away from the giant gorilla. Cyndi sits on a chair outside the RV, playing with her iPad. Unconcerned.
Day notes:
There is a theme of homes on wheels, the soul train. Leaving. Chris was playing John Prine’s Pandora channel this morning and together we sang Arlo Guthrie’s version of “I’m the train they call the City of New Orleans.”
I listened to a webinar today by Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche called “Living with Joy, Dying in Peace.” Part 1 of a six-month presentation. He talked several times about his teacher in France who is “packed and ready to go.” He used the word “packed” over and over to describe being ready to die. He finished the talk with a very powerful meditation that brought back the memory of my birth-stroke, opening up sensations of the lifelong struggle with the damaged left side of my body. It made me consider how to let go and accept the power of my left hemisphere and the weakness of my right. When I work in clay I use both hands, but primarily my left. When I draw or paint I use my right hand. I thought of Pat and wondered what he has been experiencing.
Gorilla in the room. Death. Hospital corners. Safety unpinned. The clothing rolled around the wooden pole reminds me of the solar shade that saved Chris from being cut when he broke the window during his fall on Tuesday.
Chris was runover by a train when he was 19. His first NDE.