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Negative Feels Positive

(Thursday, August 1, 2024) waning crescent moon Cancer / tarot five of cups

This morning I finally tested negative of covid, ten days later than my first symptoms. I threw out my mask. Last night I had a covid dream, and I have had them in the last few days. But my sleep has been erratic and I don’t recall many details, even though my dream last night felt very strong. I was in a communal environment, where others also had covid, although not everyone. I think I was working on my healing and trying to keep others safe, which is how it has been at home with Chris in waking life.

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Journal: Dream Circle

(Monday, July 29, 2024)

I met with Victoria’s group on Sunday. It is becoming a very inspiring experience. I have missed being able to do dreamwork more often. I think I will work with her twice a month and that will give me access to dream groups once every week.

It is a very different experience than The Dreamsters. It is global, and many members are Jewish. A new member is originally from Belgium but now lives in Israel. One dreamer, who just translated Victoria’s new book, lives in Mexico City. They are all highly skillful, in particular Cindy. I call her the Queen of Synchronicity.

We are having a discussion next week with The Dreamsters about whether we can include politics when we chat on Zoom. Victoria’s circle talks about politics every time, and they feel like the right conversations. So far, we at the circle all seem to be on the same page.

Day notes:

I am getting serious about writing a book and have been spending time looking at my dreams for clues. This one from 2017 (Writer Friends) seems potentially prescient, especially since I have officially joined Victorias’ Dream Circle and Victoria finally published the book she has been working on for seven years:

“A visually simple dream that takes place in a near-void. Grey and dim. No walls or ceilings or floors. A woman sits at the center of a white table. She is a writer, masterfully guiding a dream workshop. She must be Victoria, but she doesn’t look like Victoria. Her hair is lighter in color, silvery-brown. She wears less jewelry than Victoria’s decorative Santa Fe style. I sit at the far end of the white table, which reminds me of the table at Susan’s workshop in Virginia Beach that Bonnie and I attended. Next to me is a young woman poet, a gifted, professional writer. She sits very close, nearly embracing me, and quietly, lovingly describes my poetic genius.”

The table I work on every day with my computer is an oval white table. The table I use for clay work is also white.

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7/25/24 Getting Married to a Woman with a Six Month Old Boy

I am in a small group of people. There are three, twosomes that are to marry. I pick a card that says who I am to marry. I am to marry a woman who has a six month old baby.

We have just so long to start preparations. We are in a building and the workers here have the afternoon off and will lock up at 1:00. My partner and I write a guest list. We then go outside to the parking lot which is empty. A Rabbi comes out and gets on a skateboard with a sail and sails back and forth on the parking lot.

My partner, the Rabbi and I then go back inside the building. I ask the Rabbi to marry the woman and I. He says yes. I ask him for his card. He writes his name and phone number on a piece of paper and rips it off from the main piece. He gives it to me. He makes a joke about being rural. I say I am rural also!

The workers are about to close up. I say to my partner, “We got a lot done!” Her sleeping baby is just waking up. He has been sleeping in a medium pink basket.

Scene: Chris has been cleaning out her clothes closet. She has piles of clotes on her bed. I don’t see Chris.

If this were my dream, I am getting more connected with my feminine side. (marrying a woman). My feminine side and I are starting preparations-we write a guest list. Maybe this relates to who I want to be around/spend time with, etc. Maybe, I am being more selective of who i want to hang with. A Rabbi on a sailboard going back and forth on a parking lot? a Rabbi is a holy person of the Jewish religion. I think of the Jewish religion as being concerned with love and peace in the world. He is basically playing and having a good time. Child-like. I ask him to marry the woman and I and he says yes. He is not formal (no card) and is rural like I am. Rural is living in the country a more laid back place.

I am feeling good about accomplishing what I have so far in life. The sixth month old boy is waking up. My young masculine is waking up (out in the world, action principal). It is young, but, not longer sleeping.

Chris is cleaning out her closet. To me, clothes represent persona. Maybe my spiritual/sensitive self is letting go of what others think and how I need to present myself.

Chris’ ideas: A bringing together of parts of myself: masculine/feminine, baby/middle aged and crone. Also, feeing more compassion for my younger selves. The Rabbi is from a mystical religion. Being married by an ancient. I am marrying all the parts of myself. I am now in harmony with myself-not fighting against myself-no self judgment.

The Dreamsters Union