Journal: Covid

(Saturday, July 27, 2024)

After six vaccines and the official end of the pandemic, I did not expect to get covid. But I have it, and it is on a steep rise in Minnesota.

My cough is gone yet it is hard to breathe, which I connect with my father’s lung issues that send him to the ER at least once a month. I don’t need to see a doctor, but I am sad from five days of isolation. I had to order groceries online today for the first time since 2022. I also had to order another box of antigen tests from UCare (free). At least I am alive, recovering.

The day I first tested positive my daily tarot card was the Tower. The next day it was Death. Today it was the Empress, which cheers me up considerably, even though I tested positive again today. This time the positive line was much lighter than the quick, dark line on my first test, so the virus must be in decline.

I am meeting with Victoria’s Dream Circle tomorrow. Her new book arrived yesterday. I have been thinking about making my own book since Cullan asked me if I would write one when I retired. In my twenties I worked on a children’s book but never finished it. I have created books out of clay in the last few years. I don’t know what direction this will go, if any, but I will ask my dream guides about it. This makes me think about poet Emerson.

7/21/24 A Woman Whose Husband Puts Her Down

In the beginning of the dream, I am sitting at a rectangular table at a restaurant with Molly and Dan. A family comes and joins us. It is a husband, wife and four or five younger kids. I move over, closer to Molly and Dan to give them more room. We are at the end of the table. The family sits down. I realize they have enough room so I move and sit next to the wife. We carry on a conversation. She tells me what her occupation is. (I cannot remember what it is). It is a very important job. She then tells me that her husband puts her down.

Outside of the restaurant is a large waterfall that flows every half hour. The family came last year. The husband rescued the wife last year and they tied with another couple on how fast the rescue was. I have my camera and practice taking photos when the waterfall starts. The husband with “save” his wife the next time the waterfall flows.

Last scene: I am with the wife who is in her fifties. We go to pick up her kids at a daycare. The daycare is in a beautiful, white house. There is a separate entrance for the daycare. We go in. We are in the entrance way and there is no one there. I pour some red punch into a glass and will share it with the wife.

7/16/24 Trying to Get Away

I am in a city. Religious Right people are persecuting/killing Jewish people and those who are not religious.

I want to catch a public bus with the number 5A. When it stops I poke my head in and ask the driver if I have the correct bus. There isn’t a definite yes or no answer, but I think it is right. I get in the bus with my youngest sister, Becky or my daughter, Kelsi. It could be a combination of the two. Later, we meet a man and a woman . They have a red van. There is a box like container woven like a basket in the van. I hide Becky/Kelsi in the box. I go off by myself and try to hide. I am not captured, but I am trying to get away.

Scene: I am up on a hill. I look down and see a man and a woman riding horses on a road. I then see a couple of cars coming. The people in the cars are trying to capture the man and the woman. They go off into the woods. I see what direction they are going and also go in that direction.

Last scene: I am in a spa type place in the city. I am trying to leave. I see stairs across from me that lead to the outside. I can’t get to them. There is a wide space between me and the stairs which drops to the floor below. I look down and see two very thin men in bathing suits laying on a bed. Their heads are white, somewhat transparent and monster looking! On the level I am at, several people dive into these small pools. When they come out, they are all white. I decide to walk down these stairs thinking maybe ther e is a tunnel I can go through to get to the outside. I walk down. It is dark and dank. I do not feel comfortable and walk back up. I want to get outside and find the red van where Becky/Kelsi is.

I went back into the dream and found the “necessity”/treasure of it. I grew wings when I was in the spa trying to get out. They were large and turquoise. They felt too large and awkward at first. I had to practice with them. I turned around and saw a large, empty space behind me. I went way back, ran while flapping my wings and flew across the space in the spa. I climbed the stairs and went out the door. I walked about a block and turned right. There was the red van with the man and woman and Becky/Kelsi. I let Becky/Kelsi out of the basket box. The woman and man drove us out of the city and into the country. We ended up at a small community with friendly people. I felt relieved!

I worked this dream with my dream group in Hackensack. Here is what I wrote: If this were my dream, I am afraid of being captured by a philosophy of rigidity. I want to protect my soul/inner child/true self (Becky/Kelsi). I protect it by hiding it in a casket-shaped basket guarded by a man and a woman in a red van. My anima and animus? Red to me is a feeling of passion/what is important to me. At first my inner child and I get in a public bus thinking there will be freedom there. That doesn’t last. (go along with what the general public does). I then need to protect my soul so I put it in a casket/basket in a red van protected by my anima/animus. When I am up on top of the hill, I get some perspective. I see a man and woman on horses. Again, my masculine and feminine. Horses to me can represent personal freedom/power. The man and the woman go to the left into the woods (feminine-feeling-receiving). The woods= nature. They go in the direction of my nature. The spa is usually a place to relax, however, it is not a relaxing place for me. There are two male monster/alien type people and people after diving into the pools are transformed into these white people. Maybe the spa represents “The Golden Years” , but it is not for me. I think the dream is telling me that I need to take care of myself by being with like-minded people and to honor my inner self.

Ideas from others in my group: I am struggling with spiritual and religious discord. I am alone on my search and I need to lean on my family, friends and the health community to help me with my caregiving with Paul. In the dream, I am alone trying to not get caught. At the end, I go join a community. Soul work is needed. I’ve kept my spirituality safe, but need to find it and connect with it; bring it into the light. I am being shown that a transformation is necessary (diving into the pools and coming out all white). I need to focus on security, safety and connection in my life.

The Dreamsters Union