1/25/25 Protecting my Daughters

I am at Shady Oak. I hear the doorbell at 6:30 p.m. I am upstairs. I go downstairs and open the door. No one is there. I talk to my eight and ten year old girls and tell them if they hear the doorbell to not open the door or do outside. Earlier I read about a predatory priest. I see lights from a car coming down the driveway.

Later I talk to the girls. I find out that my eight year old did go outside and talk to the priest who was in his car. I tell her to never do that again.

On January 11th I had a dream about protecting my baby. I am not sure why this is coming up now. Nothing seems to be triggering protection from my waking life. I do remember when I was 8 years old, I had touched the host during communion to stop it from falling off of my tongue. After mass (this is with all the students on a week day), the priest came down the aisle asking who touched the host. I raised my hand and had to walk across the pew and have him wipe my hands. That day at school, during lunch time in the cafeteria, I got a lot of teasing. I was a very shy, sensitive kid and that was hard for me!

Journal: Transition

When I arrived home from my Mayo visit on Thursday afternoon, I rested on my blue velvet couch. Suddenly I had the sensation of transitioning from physical life. The feeling was so strong that tears came to my eyes, which rarely happens for me at this stage in my life. Grief, but not horror. Awareness of my upcoming travel across the bridge, to the other side.

1/17/25 Getting Married

I am going to get married to Paul again. I go to pick up my wedding dress. The woman at the shop says she can’t clean it. I was in the store waiting for it to be cleaned. The woman still charges me $2 and this makes me angry. She could have just told me she couldn’t do it.

I go to the church. I see Janet Little and say hi. There are people around. I climb these stairs to go to a room where I will put make-up on and get ready for photos. The church is nice and old.

Earlier I see a brother of the groom who will be the best man. I am an observer. He stands next to the groom. It is not Paul.

A scene where I am swimming on my back in the nude. I see I have too much fat on my belly. (true in waking life!)

Feeling: I am really not into the wedding. I am nonchalant. I am young.

The Dreamsters Union