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Contrary And I Head Home

(Friday, May 10, 2024) waxing crescent moon Gemini / tarot Star

Another “Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary” dream.

My friend Mary is exhibiting her aggressive missteps. I am walking along a roadway and she is determined I join her in a car. I resist, but she drives alongside of me and finally I give up. I open the door and crawl inside.

She drives on top of the green grass, not on the road. Others are driving on the lawn, too, but in the opposite direction. They swerve around her vehicle so they are not hit. She stops at various work locations for chores and tools. I stand next to her but pay no attention to her professional obsessions, her conversations. I keep telling her I must leave, I must go home. I am finally able to escape and I turn around, 180 degrees, heading toward my childhood house.

She hops in her car and tries to capture me but I am able to hide in various houses and even within my old Fridley Senior High School building. Eventually she finds me: I crawl out a window. She offers to drive me the rest of the way home. That feels like a blessing. Getting along, making things work.

Day notes:

I was so depressed yesterday about my ceiling project still not working after weeks and weeks. Today manager Jim and I had a discussion and we meet on Monday. He is trying hard to get this fixed. I think the dream is about this project that moved in the wrong direction but now is taking me home.

I shared my Mary, Mary poem this week on LinkedIn and over 220 people took a look. Years ago I wrote the poem for a clay book, which is about my Black Wolf dream. In the poem, I am the Black Sheep (Mary). As in the dream, I am able to hold open the wolf’s jaw and protect myself. “Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary, nips her sweetgrass on the Wabasha prairie. Loping hungrily over ancestral dunes, Black Wolf Romeo strikes with jaws of harpoons. Sheep hoof arrowheads hold open his bite. Both tumble down the rabbit hole, into the night.”

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5/1/24 Denise and I at a Fancy Car Dealership

Denise and I go downtown Minneapolis to a fancy car dealership that also has lots of specialty gifts. We stand in line outside to get in. Lots of other people are let in first because they have made reservations. When we get in, we walk around and look at the gifts. I look at a round film canister with a roll of very thin film rolled up inside it. I touch the film and pull part of it out. I then have trouble putting it back in.

One of the workers comes and asks me to go with him a test drive this Toyota. He says all I need to do is put $5000 down and can drive it away. I tell him I am a retired teacher and cannot afford that. However, I continue to follow him to do the test drive. I start to wonder if maybe I could afford it.

Denise had been here by herself before and test drove another kind of car. I think my salesman just found out about some family difficulty which upset him. I also start thinking that returning to Mpls. isn’t the best idea. There are lots of people and it could be difficult to find doctors.

Daynotes: I have been toying with the idea to move closer to the cities and share a house with Kelsi, Keenan and Freya. Paul and I would have a separate entrance and space. I want to be pro-active. I am getting older and the house in Walker is a lot of work. Paul has difficulty with his memory. We could help Kelsi and Keenan with Freya and they could help us out.

Walker, being a small town, is easier for Paul. He loves fishing and pickle ball. He knows people and the town. I have a few close friends here. Moving back to Mpls., would be a big change. o

If this were my dream, I am with Denise, my caretaker self who is into personal growth, We wait in line to get into a gift shop/car dealership in Minneapolis. A gift shop is a place where one is “gifted”. A car dealership is a place to buy a new car-a new way to get through life. Others have made reservations and get in first. Reservations could represent having second thoughts. The film canister has film 1/4 inch wide. I pull out some film. Is this a movie of my life? I am pulling out part of it, upsetting it and I can’t put it back. This could mean I am changing something in my life that can’t be reversed. (like selling this house and moving to Mpls?) The car salesman wants me to drive a Toyota. It is the kind of car Paul and I have now and like. Maybe the dream is saying living in Mpls. won’t be that much different than now. It would cost me $5000 and I could drive the car away. Can I afford that? Maybe it is not just the money, but the change in my (our) lives. I think it is too expensive, then start to rethink it. I pick up the car salesman having difficulty in his family. Maybe this is pointing out that Kevin does feel bad about cutting Paul and I off. Or maybe, trying to live with Kelsi and Keenan may not be a good idea even though we would have separate living quarters. At the end, I have second thoughts about the move to Minneapolis. There are too many people and it may be hard to get in to see a doctor for Paul. Feeling: overwhelmed

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Cleansing During Dream Time

(Friday, May 3, 2024) waning crescent moon Pisces / tarot Lovers

The dream takes place in a hotel, motel or RV. A temporary or virtual reality. We are all dreamers and sleeping in the night. I lie on a queen-size bed next to a woman who reminds me of Jeanne G. or Victoria. The two of us are the only people awake and we chat a bit. It is very early, predawn, but I say I want to take my shower. She agrees it is a good time.

There is a tiny bathroom in the middle of the dream-space. I consider it, then move to another small restroom at the far corner. I undress and see a surprising, inspiring, almost shocking image in the cabinet mirror. Even though I am 67, my body is strong and beautiful. Perfect, flawless. I look like I am in my twenties. I notice a man sleeping in a single bed next to the restroom door, on my right. He is someone with whom I have long-sensed a potential romance, but it has yet to transpire. I don’t wish to wake him, so I move back to the middle bathroom.

Day notes:

I am joining a Zoom dream circle with Victoria tomorrow. I have a private Zoom meeting with Cindy on Tuesday.

Saturday, May 4: I got to share this dream with Victoria’s circle today. The process is slightly different than what we do with The Dreamsters Union. It was very helpful, though. I liked suggestions that the mirror symbolizes “reflection.” Everyone seemed to have the same take as I did regarding my health. This is the second dream that suggests to me that I am not in cognitive decline. We’ll discover the truth, of course. One of the other dreamers had been diagnosed with MS thirty years ago but never ended up with all of those symptoms. She disagreed with her diagnosis. A few other dream members also disagreed with diagnoses they received from their doctors. Almost all of the dreamers mentioned their own memory slips and loss of words. Natural aging for most, perhaps.

The Dreamsters Union