TheDreamstersUnion

(Thursday, April 21, 2022) tarot Death

Second dream: I am a few weeks away from graduation and have not submitted any work or taken the required quizzes and tests. The dim science/sociology hallway at old Fridley High School appears in my mind’s eye. I feel the emotional presence of that past environment. The tall, dark-haired, guiding woman from many of my dreams is in my house with me, but we are not in conversation. In this dream, she looks like my mother. Almost as if post-COVID, I realize I can actually attend school in person, but I don’t know which classes I have signed up for, which rooms they are in or at what time they begin. I search for my schedule but can’t find it.

I start to weep and try to call Wayzata High School on my cell phone. The touch function doesn’t work for many minutes as I push and click, push and click. Finally I am able to make a call and reach a counselor. She knows who I am, immediately, before I begin to speak. She mentions my granddaughter’s name, but I don’t remember it when I wake up (not Oona). The woman is powerfully compassionate, angelic. I feel tremendous relief and healing.

Day notes:

I live a block from Washburn High School in Minneapolis. Growing up, I lived a block from Fridley High school. I have contributed for over 10 years to the University of Michigan Health and Retirement Study. An interviewer is coming to see me soon and he lives by Fridley High School.

I recently attended a funeral with my childhood friend Nicky for our friend Tricia’s mother Carmen. Carmen was from Guatelmala and taught Spanish at Robbinsdale Middle School. The funeral was at St. William’s Catholic Church, where the three of us had our confirmation ceremony together, before I actually met them in a journalism class. There were several teachers at the funeral that had taught us in middle school and high school. It was a wonderful experience to see them more than 50 years later.

My memory for words is in serious decline. I had the best vocabulary and language test results in 1973 that my high school had ever seen. My doctor is not worried and thinks it is stress related. The combination of COVID, work anxiety and 30 years of caregiving may be having a toll.

It feels like this dream is anxiety around my upcoming retirement. Will I be ready? Maybe the anxiety is job-related.

First dream: It seems to be about the text message from Susan I received at 11:15 pm. In the dream, I can’t find the text to reply. My device is not a phone: it’s a little square electronic box. A high rise building is where I live, and one of my rooms is connected to a male neighbor’s apartment. My tall, dark-haired female spirit guide is in the dream, assisting me. I wander outdoors in the middle of the dream, to a distant lake and forest.

(Friday, February 18, 2022) tarot: Tower

I am sleeping in my upstairs bedroom, but the dream seems to take place after the house was first built and decades before I moved in. The owner, possibly the woman who helped design 100 Rustic Lodge, stands in the corner near the right foot of the bed. She is attractive, clever, warm, strong and healthy. The attic area is unfinished and cluttered: wood rafters, wood floors, strewn extra furniture, cedar chests and old wardrobes of clothing.

I am aware of my dream within this dream. Lying on my back, my body becomes charged with electricity. In the dream I try to understand the physical experience. It is not painful, but it is overwhelming because it is so mysterious and powerful. The circuitry between every cell is complete.

I decide to wake up. I have a friendly conversation with the beautiful, calm woman. She is hosting a large conference and has invited me to stay in her house for the event. I tell her about the sensation of my body being fully charged. Not just tingling, not just vibrating. She is a good listener, perhaps one of my spirit guides.

A small boy has come with me to the conference. He rested in the attic in a toddler bed when I was lucid dreaming.

I Sing the Body Electric, by Walt Whitman:

I sing the body electric,
The armies of those I love engirth me and I engirth them,
They will not let me off till I go with them, respond to them,
And discorrupt them, and charge them full with the charge of the soul.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45472/i-sing-the-body-electric

Day notes:

One meaning of the Tower tarot card is electricity. Today I got my second electrical bill that had double wattage compared to a year ago. I am trying to figure that out. Using more power.

When I consider my spirit guides, I always think they are in the right corner of the bedroom, near the foot of my bed. I don’t know why.

I am in charge? My body? My soul? My ancestry?
Or I am charged, with what responsibilities?

(Wednesday, February 9, 2022) tarot: Strength

Chris and I walk down our old wooden stairs to the basement. We know kitty Snowball is roaming around underground, exploring the lower level, but it is dim and we don’t see him. A twin set of wooden stairs is next to our stairs, parallel. We sit on the bottom of those steps. Snowball comes toward us. We assume he will skitter away, as usual, but he actually rubs us around our legs, affectionately. His fear is gone. He is pure white, no spots, and has beautiful, fluffy lamb’s-wool fur. He heads up to the landing at the top of the steps. I see no door, but the staircase door in our house is on the side wall, so that could be true in the dream. Snowball meets his mother and small siblings, who are having dinner together on the landing. His mother faces us, a bit stern. She has human eyes. Her patterns and coloration match Snowball’s in waking life.

Day notes:

I asked for a dream message, incubation, which never works for me, but this time it occurred at 5:30 in the morning the day I had to decide if I would confirm surgery for our feral cat, or let him go. I filled out a long, online application to donate him as a barn cat, but then I called SCRAM and had an hour-long conversation with a woman who has worked with feral cats for 18 years. She told me barn cats usually live less than 2 years, and after remembering my grandmother’s suffering barn cats, I knew that was true.