A Grounded Healing Process

(Sunday, September 14, 2025) third quarter moon Gemini / tarot Tower / Oracle Alignment

Thank god Snowball got me up before midnight and left me alone until 4:30 am.

My memory this morning is of two dreams. One is very long and transitions into the second one, but it is vague. I am surrounded by a group of hundreds of people. I don’t know what we are doing together.

The second dream is fairly vivid. I am with a smaller group of people and we are being trained to do a therapeutic kind of exercise, always lying on the ground, a little bit like yoga and meditation combined. We have made it through many elements of the practice and are at the final process. I walk behind my tall dream guide as he describes the ending movements to me. I think his first description is of healing the shoulder and neck area of the body (we must have started with our feet). Then he holds a metaphysical wand that has an oval at the top. The supernatural oval is in front of his face. He tells me, perhaps telepathically, that the concluding posture treats the brain. This excites me, and I say, “that is exactly what I need.” His reply is that all of us require mending for our minds.

I lie down on the floor to complete the last yoga/meditation. Twenty more minutes. I am facing my right, with my right leg at about a 30-degree angle. Suddenly I feel someone lying against my left side. I turn to see a small, thin Indian man, maybe Buddhist, snuggled against me, working on his poses. He is a surprise to me as we in this group are not physically attached to each other. We move at our own pace. I ask him why he is so close, touching me. He reminds me that this decision was made by us all early on, before the teaching began. Although he is slightly nervous about his responsibility.

Day notes:

Synchronicity: my tarot card today is the Tower. Yesterday I rode my bike with Cullan and my grandkids downtown to go to the top of the Foshay Tower (the 30th floor). Such a historically beautiful building. We had lunch at The Keys, which is where we ate after my wedding with Chris in 2009.

I have been asking for my dream guide to visit me, and to help me heal my memory. Or at least slow down the decline. Very funny that he seems to repeat what quite a few people have said: “Oh, you are fine.” I’m still going to ask him for his assistance.

The dream reminds me a little bit of acupuncture, which takes place while lying down.

“Alignment” from the oracle cards Bonnie gave me reminds me of being aligned with the man in the dream.

Tuesday, September 16: another synchronicity. I don’t know if the Indian man is Hindu, Muslim or Buddhist. BUT, my friend Suchi contacted me today. She (not he) teaches traditional Hindu dancing. She may have some freelance design projects coming up for me, which is a huge blessing. I have been thinking about finding a part-time job. Social Security just is not enough, especially since Chris was on disability for so many years My financial advisors had wanted me to wait till I am 73 (5 more years) before taking money from our 401k. But now that I have dementia, they are more open to have us take money out of the account.

Journal: Daytime Dreaming

(Saturday, September 13, 2025)

I haven’t been able to remember dreams for weeks. Snowball got me up at 1:30 this morning and didn’t let me sleep again until almost 5 am. My friend is Susan A. invited me to her dream group (she lives just a mile away) but I wonder if I will have any dreams by then (October 6).

I went on my e-bike yesterday to Lakewood Cemetery, a bit like a waking dream. I was trying to find the Humphrey and Mondale memorials but could not. I took photos of the giant Fridley memorial (the town where I grew up) and Rudy Luther’s memorial.

Lovely garden sculpture of a harp. I saw one memorial with the name “Ireland.”

9/9/25 Visiting Kevin and his Family

I am with another woman, but I am not sure who she is. We knock on the door of Kevin’s apartment. Markus answers. He is about 12 years old. He has blond hair. I ask him his name and he tells me. Then he goes into his room. my friend and I go further into the apartment. Kevin is in the kitchen making sandwiches for a picnic across the street at a park. Rowan is there. He is 14 to 15 years old and he also has blond hair. We all say hello. Rowan then shows us the apartment. It looks familiar to me. Across from the kitchen is a free standing wall. Behind it is a large TV. It is shaped like an old TV that is very wide. I say to Kevin he needs a new TV. The TV takes up so much room between the free standing wall and the regular wall that there isn’t much room for people to sit.

Now Rowan and Markus no longer have blond hair. (were they wigs?) Their hair is their normal, medium brown color. Markus has light streaks of color in his hair. I compliment him on it. Rowan then takes us on a tour of his bedroom. It is huge and has its own bathroom. We then go into Kevin and Antonia’s bedroom. It also is huge. It is very neat and has a hammock in one area. We then see Markus in the hallway and I say I would like to see his bedroom also. He seems flattered that I asked. Kevin is on the phone to Antonia. I don’t know if he says the picnic is cancelled or I am anticipating that. End of the Dream.

On 9/7/25 I asked, “What is one thing I can do to help heal Kevin and my relationship?” In waking life, I feel there really isn’t anything I can do except to just wait until Kevin decides he wants us in his life again.

I worked this dream with my AZ group and the Dreamsters. Here is what I wrote: (AZ group). If this were my dream, it’s, in some ways a reality in the future. It is about 9-10 years in the future. 9-10 is completion and a new beginning. Kevin and his family live in an apartment like they do in waking life. It is a more communal living situation as apposed to a single family home. Markus and Rowan have blond hair at first. It is not their real hair. Does this mean they are not comfortable at first to be their authentic selves? Markus keeps some light hair streaks-showing his individuality? Kevin is making sandwiches for a picnic. A picnic is a laid back activity in nature and good for spending quality time together. I tell Kevin he needs a new TV. A TV is for entertainment, news, connection to the world. Maybe I feel he needs a new way to connect with the world and not be so isolated. Rowan shows us his and Kevin/Antonia’s bedrooms. Bedrooms are private places and also can share one’s individual specialness. Both are huge and tall. Kevin and Antonia’s bedroom is very neat-not so laid back as Rowan’s. Did Rowan want me to understand something by showing me his parents bedroom? There is a hammock in the bedroom. Does this show that his parents are more laid back now? I ask Markus to see his bedroom and he is flattered by the positive attention. At the end I am not sure if the picnic is canceled. So maybe this highlights the question if Kevin and I will ever heal our relationship. I took the initiative to visit in the dream. There is not guarantee that it will work.

I worked this dream again with other dreamers. Here is what I wrote: If this were my dream, I am visiting the boys and Kevin in the future and all seems fine until the end when Kevin is talking to Antonia.-Picnic canceled? This estrangement is no picnic! I wonder if I am dreading the difficult talk I need to have with Kevin? Having to hear his complaintss about me. Can I just listen and not take them so personally? And is it ok to speak my truth like I did in the dream when I said Kevin, you need a new TV? Antonia-does she represent the dark side of Kevin. His dark anima? Rowan is similar to Kevin when Kevin was a kid. Maybe it would help me remember that part of Kevin. (kind and sensitive to others) Markus is flattereed I asked to see his bedroom and he has light streaks in his hair. He is more like Antonia in looks. Like Antonia, I have to go out of my way to make a connection? There is a hammock in the bedroom-in Kevin and Antonia’s personal space- Maybe this says that there is a laid back part of Kevin I need to connect with. Kevin and Antonia need a lot or personal space.

The Dreamsters Union