I am going to get married to Paul again. I go to pick up my wedding dress. The woman at the shop says she can’t clean it. I was in the store waiting for it to be cleaned. The woman still charges me $2 and this makes me angry. She could have just told me she couldn’t do it.
I go to the church. I see Janet Little and say hi. There are people around. I climb these stairs to go to a room where I will put make-up on and get ready for photos. The church is nice and old.
Earlier I see a brother of the groom who will be the best man. I am an observer. He stands next to the groom. It is not Paul.
A scene where I am swimming on my back in the nude. I see I have too much fat on my belly. (true in waking life!)
Feeling: I am really not into the wedding. I am nonchalant. I am young.
I am a teacher. I am writing sentences on a blackboard and leaving blanks where words would go. The students have to fill in the blanks. The students are young adults. Both the students and I enjoy ourselves. There is a woman who has a sheet cake. I start to put things away. A scene where a woman buries a statue upside down in the ground.
2. Paul and I have Markus and Rowan. They are both the same size. I see them ahead of me walking side by side. We are to have Markus first for a day. And then Rowan for a day. Paul, Markus and I stop by the beach. Markus goes down on these rocks and I fill a bucket with sand. I see some white minerals in the water. I look up and cannot see Markus. I yell his name. I ask Paul to find him. He doesn’t get up right away. I plead with him. I think there were other kids around. Did he follow them? Did he fall in the water? Did he go back to where Rowan is? Markus is around four years old. (in waking life he is two years old)
I have a new born baby. I swaddle him and put him near the gas fireplace. I am concerned he is too close, but he is ok.
Then I see him walking outside where there are these animals. One of the animals is a a fawn in bad shape. My baby touches it. There is a white bird that I think is dead, but is not. I can’t remember the other animals. I go out and get my baby. I worry he might get hurt by an animal.
feeling: amazed at the growth, changes in my baby is a short amount of time.
I worked this dream with the Dreamsters. Here is what I wrote and some other notes:
If this were my dream, the bird is my higher, wise Self. The toddler is my inner child-innocent and pure. The dream ego is my waking life ego. That ego is afraid that harm will come to my inner child and feels she has to protect him. This dream says that is not necessary. The first part of the dream is saying to check to see if that nnerchld is too close to the fire-the anger-that would be harmful to him-emotionally, physically, etc. He is not too close. In my waking life, my anger is not as intense as it was re Kevin and Antonia. It is improving. Now it is time to go out in the world with compassion and openness to those who suffer and need nourishment. The question is how to protect myself enough and still show compassion to others-especially wounded others. How to do this with Antonia? I am not sure yet. I may not ever get that opportunity. However, I can do so energetically. I can practice Loving Kindness Meditation and stop the negative thoughts about her.
I went back into this dream and became the white bird. Spirit Bird. I watch my dream ego feed the fawn as well as the other animals with my inner child. This was very healing.
