My Transitional Space

(Wednesday, April 16, 2025) waning gibbous moon Sagittarius / tarot Devil

Vivid dreams this morning.

Chris and I have a giant, multi-story house that is being completely renovated, down to the plaster walls. The mansion is nearly empty because of all of the work that is being done. Almost no furniture, no pictures on the walls, no drapes. It is perhaps centuries old because the plaster is very thick and not drywall-smooth.

I am working on the walls, spackling and painting. I enjoy the sculptural texture of the plaster. In some rooms I plan to add wallpaper, so those walls need to be flattened, smoothed. It is curious that many of the rooms have no windows, perhaps because of how huge the house is. Some rooms may only be attached to other interior rooms.

The windows that I do notice are positioned in areas where windows from neighboring houses do not access the inside of my house. They cannot see my interior from the installed angles. As the dreamer I think of my windows as having the function of visual reversal. Mirrors?

I am finishing up my work because Chris is planning for an upcoming, casual party. He is in his thirties or forties, the age when we met. He owns a business and has the same extroverted personality he had back then. As I finish, a bunch of his employees, men and women, enter the house and bounce up several flights of stairs to have a meeting together on the top story.

To get ready for the small party, I head into a bathroom for a shower, to clean up after my project. But the bathroom is completely empty, no shower or sink or toilet. It is under construction. I look out one window and see a beautiful, antique, English-style red brick house.

I search for another bathroom and find one that is part of a bedroom with twin beds, yet still with no completed plumbing facilities. I find a hose on the floor, take off my clothes and give myself a spray.

I am in a hurry because I know our guests are on the way. I am naked and stressed. I have to bolt up the stairs to try to find underwear and clothes. I hear Chris explaining to recent arrivals about a card game we are going to play. Winners get chocolate rewards.

At the end of this dream I become an observer. I am viewing my back, naked but in perfect condition. As women’s bodies often are in our twenties or thirties.

Day notes:

My friend Travis is finishing skim coating and painting my entryway. When he is done my friend Denisea will apply wallpaper. The wallpaper is a pattern that includes flowers, ravens and psychic third-eyes.Weird” wallpaper. Chris likes it. Denisea and I love it. I am painting the heavy second door that will be reattached to the entryway.

This seems to be a dream about a radical change in my life.

Yesterday when I came home from the Mayo I sat across from Chris in the living room and listened to music for a while. I remembered most of the lyrics and sang along. I had a deep spiritual experience (again) about the Mayo. I felt OK with the upcoming transition in my life from coherence to confusion.

I so often dream of backs and spines. I wonder why. I think of my painless Mayo spinal tap, but it is probably a kundalini element. I have been dizzy lately.

My writing from when this was shared with The Dreamsters:
“My Back”
In this dream, I have had anxiety about my body being exposed. There are dozens of people in my renovation project, yet none are around when I am naked. Perhaps my own insight is more clear, more open, more real and without cover, than what others can see. Or being open to all, regardless of my fear, is what can be healing in the end. My back, my spine that travels all the way to the top story (to my brain) is in good health. Kundalini brings eternal youth and energy and connection to the multiverse. Like Bonnie’s magic snakes. I am my own guide. I have my back, as I say in so many dreams. And I am going back to the beginning, as are we all.

Fragment: Dreaming Of Paul On Bonnie’s Birthday

(Monday, April 14, 2025) waning gibbous moon Scorpio / tarot seven of wands

I dream of a long conversation with Paul, Bonnie’s spouse, about dementia, his experience with Alzheimer’s, although in waking life he does not talk about it, at least with me. The dream is vague enough that when I wake up, I am not sure if we are talking in person or if I am entering his mind. A telepathic discussion.

Day notes:

I discovered this morning that my flying lucid dream had a prescient element at the end. I think the young dream girl from many decades ago is the actual woman who was going to build a mansion around 1885. She wanted to call it Rustic Lodge. She owned 20 acres, between 48th and 49th Avenues, and Pleasant and Stevens. Right by my present house and by the house Paul grew up in. Later she thought of having the house built in Hollywood instead, but it never happened.

I have Mayo appointments this Thursday and next Tuesday. On Tuesday I meet a new doctor to discuss genomes and semantic dementia.

4/9/25 Deb Wants to Move Back In

I am with Deb and a few other women. We are in Minneapolis or a similar city. We are walking around the streets. We come to this three story, medium blue apartment building. Deb used to live there. She still has the key. We go into the apartment with her. It is the top floor. We go into a bedroom with three full sized beds and two twin beds. There are small, framed photographs by each bed showing photos of the young women who live there. Deb goes to a phone in the bedroom and calls the landlord. She wants to live here again. The rest of us wander around. I crack open some hard-boiled eggs and put them into cups. The shells don’t come off very well and the yolks are not all the way hard. I ask Deb if she wants a couple of eggs. She says yes.

New scene: We are outside now. Deb owns a small dog. A man asks to borrow her dog and she says yes. I follow him. He and his wife have their car filled as well as the top of the car, with their belongings. They are moving into an apartment nearby. The wife drives a block or so away. I follow them. She parks and gets out with their small dog. The man then gets out with Deb’s dog. I don’t trust that he will return Deb’s dog.

I am guessing that my psyche is trying to tell me something, having all these Deb dreams. I will work this dream today with my dream group and see what materializes!

Here is what I wrote when I worked this dream with my AZ group. If this were my dream, I am with Deb, a part of me that wants to be in a more simple, carefree time in my life. It was also a time when I was more “out in the world”.

I am nurturing this part of me with good nutrition even though the eggs are not coming out of the shell very well and are not quite done. (maybe the nurturing I am doing is not the best? )Eggs can also be a metaphor for new life.

Deb lends a man her dog: her loving, loyal companion. I am afraid he will not return the dog. The dog could be a metaphor for Paul. The man and his wife are moving to a new apartment; a new life but “a part” in some ways, which could represent us moving to a new phase in our lives.

When we shared what we wrote and made the dog-Paul connection, I got emotional.

The Dreamsters Union