(Saturday, May 13, 2023) third quarter moon Pisces / tarot Empress
Early this morning I moved from a dream into sleep paralysis. In the dream, I am a fully Indigenous woman and that makes my dream self very grateful to finally experience a part of my ancestral roots. Deeply happy.
I am walking in a huge brick building, wandering to the upper floor and the far corner room of that story. I am aware of a pandemic, but not sure if it is from 1918 or 2019. Research officials are requiring Native Americans to provide data. They have entered the building but I close the door because I am not ready for interrogation.
Here is where sleep paralysis begins. I am lying in a double bed in the peak, corner room. I cannot move. I roll side-to-side, pull on the blankets, and try to sit up. I want to be awake so I can lock the door. After tremendous effort I am able to become alert and move my body without restrictions. Yet I keep falling in and out of paralysis, maybe a dozen times. It feels like a two-hour process, even though one statement on Google says paralysis lasts only one or two minutes.
Day notes:
I have been skeptical of my maternal family story that Chief Wapasha (Dakota and Ojibwe) was a great+ grandfather and his daughter (name unknown) was a great+ grandmother, since my DNA is fully European. Based on this dream, I looked up DNA and found that great-great-great grandparents (and more) may not have shared DNA with every descendent. The family tree that includes Wapasha does show up on Ancestry.com and other locations. Who knows. But the dream felt very comforting.
My aunt Mary Murphy tried for years to get us joined with the Mdewakanton Sioux community in Shakopee. At one point, I think the early 20th century, it was required for members to make an official application, with the government or the Dakotas, I am not sure. Our ancestors did not do this, and so we were not accepted by the Mdewakantons. Or so my relatives said. Members of my family that have this background information have all passed away.
Very interesting. I am in a group of caucasians and native Americans. That conversation came up about being/becoming members of a tribe. There are many Native Americans who identify as natives of a tribe, but are not allowed in. From what I understand, most tribes have people prove they are 25% native; looking at their parents . There are kids in the family that are members and other kids in the family who are not. Then at White Earth, the government disenfranchised more than half of the people living there for financial reasons.
I liked how you felt about being the indigenous woman. The data sounds like proving your ancestry.