Month: February 2025

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2/3/25 Denise Comes to Visit

Denise has come to visit. I was not expecting her. We are standing outside. All of a sudden, Denise’s right shoulder blade spontaneously catches on fire. I push her to the ground and get the fire out.

Dave and Marsha are at my house (not waking life). Denise and I are inside with them. I have a hard time introducing them to each other because I am having trouble remembering their names! I do remember, but it takes a while. Dave has slept in the basement bedroom that does not have a roof over it. That is where Denise will sleep.

I tell Denise that Paul and I are going to buy a new house. I tell her about the garage that is huge with a dirt floor and no roof. I see it in my mind’s eye.

Day notes: starting to copy VHS’s to DVD’s. These are old movies and they bring up memories of old times.

I worked on this dream with Kathleen and Shaney. This is what I wrote: If this were my dream, a part of me that Denise represents has come to visit unexpectedly. Maybe it is a part of me I am not that well acquainted with or forgot about. Her right shoulder blade spontaneously combusts. This freaks me out. I push her to the ground to put it out. This could be a positive image- something to do with creativity? I think of the shoulder blades as being expressive especially when I see an animal like a cat move-similar to a dance move. The right side could have to do with the future. Maybe it is something I am not ready for? (to have my memories changed?) Dave and Marsha-trouble with my memory. Dave stays in the basement bedroom without a roof. There is no protection from the elements. However, the room is open to the sky. The roof could represent memory. Dave could represent masculine energy-the action principal. Denise could represent feminine energy. That energy is also going to experience the no roof bedroom. Paul and I are to move to a new house with a large, tall garage with no roof and a dirt floor. It is empty. So, if this has to do with memory, maybe it is an opportunity to revisit my old memories with the realization they can be changed or reinterpreted. Looking at these DVD;s is bringing back the time in my life a good 38-39 years ago. Maybe, they will help me bring back more positive memories especially any self-criticism.

Ideas from Kathleen and Shaney. A garage could represent memory because it is a place where things are stored. Memories can be malleable. The song: Happy Like a Room without a Roof by Pharrell Williams.

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An Upcoming Meeting On A White Round-Edged Table

(Wednesday, February 5, 2025) first quarter moon Taurus

My first memory in quite some time of a long dream:

I am in a very large space full of floor-to-ceiling windows. It reminds me of the meeting room we used for the dream workshop taught by Victoria when she came to town a few years ago. There is an expansive white table and I stand at the edge, where Victoria stood to give her presentation. The edges are curved, shaped like my big, waking-life office table from Ikea.

I have helped organize this upcoming event. A couple dozen people will participate. My reputation is linked to a book I have written. Eventually we will all have a delicious and fancy meal together, but since my diet is limited (gluten-free and vegetarian) I eat a small veggie pizza ahead of the meeting.

Someone is with me. I have no visual memory of what they look like, who they are. Their presence feels very strong. A spirit? They are always on my right side, like my frequent male spirit guide, although this one is not as tall. We leave the meeting room and head to my own room. A hotel? An apartment? My home? The ceiling, walls and floors are white, like the table. I start switching on ceiling lights but at first they are all so dim they add no illumination. I click and click. Finally I find a switch that brings light and vision to my space.

The two of us leave for a walk to my mother’s house, my childhood home in Fridley. Perhaps I wish to coax my mother to join our meeting. We walk up the short, grassy hill and enter the side door. Inside is pure chaos. My mother is emotionally out of control. The house is full of lovely, expensive furniture yet none of it is organized in the appropriate rooms. Mess!

We decide to leave without my mother, but I first brush my hair in the bathroom and pull it into a ponytail.

Day notes:

I had a conversation with my sisters this week about how emotionally erratic my mother is right now.

The meeting reminds me of all the work ahead at the Mayo (traveling on Sunday to a “booked” hotel for a Monday meeting). Cullan is required to join me each time. The guide did often feel like it might be Cullan. Lots of Mayo members will be participating, like the group at the large white table. Sometimes behind the scenes. “My reputation” might be about the dozens and dozens of complex tests I have already contributed to the study. Telling my story. One of the neurologists said that an unusual number of his patients with semantic dementia have been writers or English teachers. One was a college professor. I think of Emerson again.

I have considered telling Victoria I am ending working with her Saturday/Sunday dream group. Too much stress in my life right now. I don’t have the energy. On the edge!

Sometimes I think “mother” in my recent dreams is Hillary. Or me.

A ponytail: brushing my hair, my mane, tightly around my crown chakra. My skull and brain. I take Lion’s Mane mushroom supplements for help with memory loss.

“Finally I find a switch that brings light and vision to my space.” A cure? Not expecting one.