(Good Friday, April 19, 2019) full moon Scorpio, tarot nine of wands
Four dreams come to the surface as I awaken. I remember three of them. They all have some scenes in the grey, cosmic atmosphere. Not in the void, because there are physical elements, but my dream vision is often dim, as it has been since my eye surgery.
Dream fragment: This may be a part of one of the larger dreams. I carry a heavy fabric tote-bag over my right shoulder. The bag is packed with items that need to be donated or recycled. I don’t think the items are mine; I’m helping someone else with their baggage. When I awaken, I think of emotional baggage, but also Jill Purce. Purse.
Dream 1: This is a long, complex dream that takes place inside of an immense building that serves hundreds, perhaps thousands of human beings on many floors. The lighting is muted. I share a sparsely furnished suite with Chris. I move from a small side room to the main living space, looking for him to join me. I see him standing in the corner, but he does not recognize me. He is grinning in a frightening, monstrous way: his personality has shifted completely into the most negative, sometimes violent aspects of dementia. I flee the room, searching for mental health professionals to protect me.
There is another scene that takes place outside, in a neighborhood near the communal building. Grey atmosphere again, and the natural elements (lakes, trees, houses) are also devoid of much color. Dusk. It is Cullan and Hillary’s Tangletown, which is slightly east of Fairview Southdale. Cullan is highly distraught because he has lost his job. I assure them that I can donate my house to them and that all will be well.
Dream 2: This fantastic, mythical dream is hard to describe. I float above the scenes in the dream, lucidly creating them as I go. But I also “physically” experience the dream. My higher self and my dream body cohabitate consciously.
In the dream, the Mississippi River flows north along the west edge of a rock canyon so deep that the bottom is not perceivable. The river is as wide as it becomes at Lake Pepin. Fabulous, ancient manor houses overlook the precipice, spread thinly apart, enclosed by thick gardens and woodlands. The houses are absent of human inhabitants. Some of the manors have crystal gem components: windows, towers, sculptures.
My dream body intends to do a swim in the river, the kind of major life goal like swimming the Channel between France and Britain. Decisions about the process are more alive in my higher-self mind. I plan and debate and delay. “Testing the waters.” I am going to meet with my coworker Steve A. at the end of my swim.
Eventually my motivated dream body enters the cold water. The Mississippi feels like it is at flood stage, moving strongly and swiftly. I sense that the base of the riverbed is hundreds of feet below me. My higher self sees an image of my swishing feet in the dark water with no visibility of the river’s bottom. My higher self and my dream body are concerned about being attacked by aggressive, dangerous fish, such as would live in the ocean, not in a mainland river. Suddenly, my higher self shares information with my dream body about parasites in the water that can destroy a human heart. Floating in spirit above the water, my higher self tells Steve that I won’t be able to safely finish my swim. My dream body then energetically leaves the river.
Day notes:
Steve is a web designer, like Cullan, someone who works with virtual reality. The two of us have been planning a department trip to the Weisman Museum, which is on the east shore of the Mississippi.
One of my favorite books is Dr. Thomas Cowan’s “Human Heart, Cosmic Heart.” Maybe I need to read it again.