I wake up in the morning crying very hard. I realize I cannot make it as a photographer. I then go and take a shower. After my shower, I go to my sister, Chris’ room. She is laying on the floor crying. I get down on the floor with her and ask her if she is crying because her husband died. I have a hard time remembering his name. Then I do. It is Keenan. (in waking life, her husband’s name is Richard and he is alive. My son-in-law is named Keenan)
I then go to the Celebration of Life for Chris’ husband. When I go in, his brother comes up and gives me a big hug. I feel uncomfortable. I feel I should feel more compassion for him, but I don’t.
I go into the backroom where there is a kitchen to make myself a cup of tea. My sister, Becky, is there. She shows me these two, large cards (like Tarot cards). They are pictures of basements. She says they represent snow. I ask her about going to Rutgers (a resort in northern Minnesota). Chris told me she had recently been there.
We go outside. There is a waterslide with warm water, running down it. It is winter outside. Becky asks if I want to go down it. I say no.
I am then inside at the Celebration of Life. A woman comes up to me and asks if I would take some photos of the singer who is singing for the celebration. I go to find my coat with my iPhone in the pocket. I look all over and cannot find it.
The last scene is where Paul and I are driving home. Paul is driving. I tell him I don’t have my iPhone. I feel nervous, but accepting.
Susanne: Big hug. You’ve been through a lot of heartache. (I told the group about being cut off by Kevin and Antonia). I am fascinated by the water in your dream. The first appearance are the tears you shed, the shower (like tears warm water flowing down with the purpose of cleansing), crying again now on the floor: emotion touches earth, warm water in the form of tea, cold water in the form of snow on Tarot cars, warm water on the water slide. The Tarot cards seem to be a positive turning point. Snow is frozen water, frozen emotions. It’s easier to analyze in that form. The final form is warm water running down a water slide. Usually children play with that. Somehow I get a positive feeling because of this ending.
Meredith: Family dynamics and feelings of loss. If it were my dream. Water is a cleansing element. The smart phone missing may be associated with lack of the ability to communicate. The tarot type cards, hints for future efforts to dig into the depths of the issues. Much love and hugs to you.