(Saturday, September 20, 2014) Waxing crescent in Leo / six of pentacles
One past life dream I shared with Dr Lucas was that of a Victorian era prostitute who was murdered and thrown down some stairs into a cellar. I had the dream nearly 30 years ago and awoke in terror, smelling blood. Her/my legs were broken, perhaps tumbling down the stairs, and she/I had been slashed many times with a knife.
This morning I experienced an episode of sleep paralysis, which I have had since childhood. A feature of sleep paralysis is intense, often fearful visions that are very difficult to shake because one is unable to move the body. One is a victim of the visions until the ability to break out of the frozen physical state returns, usually by moving muscles in the face or hands.
It’s been awhile since I’ve had this experience, so this morning it was particularly frightening. I awoke from the sleep state into not just paralysis, but the sensation of being strangled. I felt strong pressure on my throat and had trouble breathing. I looked up and saw that I was being raped and assaulted by a middle-aged white man. I could see all of his features clearly, including the wrinkles in his skin and the thinning white hairs on his chest. I thought he must be the man who murdered the poor street walker.
Sabine prepared me for the fact that in the last part of my life I will be gathering more and more memories.