(Snippet) I am parking in a parking lot. I see a bear walk up a hill. A golden retriever follows him.
5/4/23 Toes bitten by Spiders
I am at a spa type place. I am being pampered; a massage, etc. The last part of my treatment involves having my toes bitten by three spiders. A woman takes the spiders out of a container. They are grey and a bit smaller than a dime. One of the spiders moves away from the others. I corral it back. I do not like having the spiders bite my toes. One foot gets done. The woman leaves. I go and find her. I ask her if the other foot/toes have to be bitten. She says yes. I go back and lay down.
Daynotes: First day back in Walker. Beautiful weather. I am happy to be back.
5/1/23 Wanting to Get Pregnant
I want to get pregnant. I am not in a relationship. There is a young man about 30 years old, who lives across the street from me. He agrees to be the father. Other neighbors have a prejudice against the man. I yell at them.
I walk over to the man’s house. I start to cry because I realize I also want a relationship as well as a baby. I am then sitting in the living room on the floor with my brother, Dan, my sister, Chris, and the young man. The man asks when I ovulate. I feel embarrassed and change the subject. I don’t want my brother and sister to know that the man will be impregnating me.
Scene where I see two prostitutes. One of them gives birth and leaves the baby. I wrap the baby up in some material. I walk to the young man’s house. When I am walking through the neighborhood a large German Shepard barks and comes towards me. I keep saying No! to the dog. The male owner comes out and asks for my name, my phone number and where I am going. I am on Baker Road (road close to where I grew up). I do not tell him anything.
I walk to the young man’s house. He is fixing something for a man. I wait. Chris comes. We go to another room. I show her the baby. It does not look like a baby. It looks like a transparent fish. It is having trouble breathing. I tear open the wrappings. I don’t know how to take care of it; what to feed it, etc.
Day Notes: Flying to Seattle today to visit Kevin and his family. Also, we will then fly back to Minnesota for six months. Paul and I are not sure what Antonia will be like. The previous year she was not in a good place and we did not feel welcomed.