Axis Mundi

(Thursday, April 23, 2015) Waxing crescent moon in Cancer / tarot: seven of cups reversed

I am driving with Chris to the land of my maternal ancestors: to Wabasha, Minnesota. My grandmother’s farmhouse is gone. The neighboring houses and barns and outbuildings are gone. The sand prairie has returned in all of its gentle beauty. Golden grasses bend in the wind, covering the rolling hills from the foot of the blue bluffs to the banks of the Mississippi River.

Since every physical trace of family is erased, I turn back, deciding to travel to my paternal grandparents’ property on the South Dakota border, in Brewster, Minnesota. I take a sharp left and travel down a long, straight road such as one would find in the Dakotas.

I notice a giant, vertical column in a field on the left side of the roadway. It’s hundreds of feet tall and shaped like a towering Mother Redwood. Cloudlike. Turning so slowly on its axis I don’t notice the spin until I sense the tremendous energy within my own body. We are traveling in tornado country and I wonder if it’s a twister. Yet it’s shaped like a tree. I think it must be a portal between dimensions.

I drive further down the road, intending to turn left again to continue on the path to see my father’s parents. There is a numbered form I want to pick up at their house (I forget the four-digit number when I awake). Chris and I hear news, perhaps on the car radio, of a tornado warning for the area near Brewster. I realize I already have a copy of the form, so I do not need to put us in danger by driving through the storm. I have a vision of my grandparents in the clouds above us. Their lives were surrounded by emotional turbulence, tornadoes of grief and anger. They look down on me, sending a silent blessing.

The road comes to a “T” and I turn right, heading to the office, only this office looks more like the conference centers I dream of so frequently these days. I work for awhile and suddenly it’s 20 minutes to 4. Time to get ready to go home. I am leaving for good, my retirement has arrived. “Where did the time go?” a woman named Janet (controller in the finance department) and I ask each other.

Day notes:

Last night I was very tired after work. I went to bed early and listened to some YouTube videos on my phone. I found quite a few that were titled “theta meditations.” Sabine Lucas used lights and sound to move my brainwaves into the theta realm. One of the YouTube meditations had the same abstract, buzzing soundtrack as something Sabine would use. It was an hour long. Soon enough I was seeing lights and colors and forms behind my eyelids, just as if I were in her meditation chamber in Santa Fe. Then I had this a-m-a-z-i-n-g dream.