(Tuesday, January 24, 2023) waxing crescent moon Pisces / tarot 8 of swords
I arrive at a new community home: a giant hotel, condominium or apartment building. I enter my bedroom. I sleep for a while and when I wake up, I realize I must sort out my clothing in order to mingle with new people. It feels like I don’t have enough to wear. I am visited by my cousin Julie and others, who are unconcerned about my depleted wardrobe. Family. They send love.
A blonde woman in a leadership role arrives from down the hall. She shows me some swank work-clothing options she can generously provide. She is impressively professional, at the top of her game. My distraction at being in a new place, along with my comfort with unplanned clothing, makes the Sharp Woman head back to her important office to converse with a group of women much more assertive and career-focused than I am.
I look through my pile of clothing and find my favorite blue jeans, a surprise. As I continue to search, I find more things than I thought I had. Items gradually continue to appear. Even so, I realize the Sharp Woman could be a helpful relationship, so I walk to her office. I see that my relaxed ambivalence has made her impatient. But it is her role to help, in spite of her judgement. I am still uncertain that this is the path for me, yet my mind is open.
Day notes:
Yesterday, late in the day, my friend Mary sent me an email. Mary worked with me at Ergotron as a contractor for 2 years. I was able to get her hired full-time in 2022. We have know each other for 35 years. Her email had personal contact information for a female rep at Creatis. Creatis hires designers as contractors. I filled out an online application at Creatis today. My conscious mind doesn’t know if I am retired or if I am looking for work.
The Sharp Woman looks like the Ergotron Director of Marketing, who lead the virtual meeting where I lost my job. She is kind, but in meetings she would go on and on and on, using bizspeak vocabulary that didn’t register with me.
I had joined the “Women in the Workforce” group at Ergotron. First meeting, I criticized the word workforce. Discussions were consistently about career, and I stopped attending.
Auntyflo.com says that if you are dressed inappropriately, it is time to stop worrying about emotions. Break the rules.
I love the reference to clothes. To me, finding my clothes that I feel comfortable in, feels like I am comfortable with my persona and who I am. The professional woman makes me feel uncomfortable. The dream ego, however, knows she could be of help to me. Kind of a conflict, but such is life! Maybe the dream is saying I will know when I know what the best path for me is. That I can trust myself.