Category: Bonnie

I am in a large city, maybe New York. I lay on a metal chaise lounge at the top of these large number of stairs (50-75?). I am on a level surface close to the top of the stairs. It is a public building. It is a sunny day. I worry if I get too close to the first stair, the chaise lounge will slide all the way to the bottom and it will be dangerous.

I decide to try out going down the stairs on the chaise lounge. I do not go too fast and it is fun and exiting! I then walk around in the city. I am very thirsty. I look for a drinking fountain. I can’t find one. I ask a woman. She tells me where to go. I follow her directions, but cannot find the fountain. There are lots of people around. I think there could be some festival.

I start to climb up the stairs where the chaise lounge was at the top. Someone brought it back up. Now the stairs are very steep. It feels like I am climbing a cliff face. I climb one stair at a time, pulling myself up. It is very difficult. I need help to get up the last stair. A young woman helps me.

Day Notes: Laura canceled our weekend to go to a workshop and concert with Carrie Newcomer in Annandale, Mn. Her husband and she had to “put down” their dog on Monday before the weekend workshop. Laura said she didn’t want to leave her husband because he was very emotional about losing their dog. I was disappointed, hurt, and angry. I worked on feeling my feelings, but not becoming a victim. And also trying to be understanding. I couldn’t find anyone else to go with me. Then I canceled the morning workshop and Paul said he would come with me to the evening concert. That felt like a good compromise.

My dad comes to visit. I have homework I have to do. I tell my dad that I don’t want to have to do all of it later. I do some of it. He is tired and needs to rest.

We go in the car. I am driving. I cannot remember where I booked a place for Dad to stay. We pull into an area where there are two RV’s parked, while I try to figure it out. A man comes and says we can’t park there. We drive some more.

Now we are in a large garage. There is a mechanic working on an old, large car. There are two parked motorcycles on the car’s right. I don’t think I can drive through them to get through and out of the garage. A man directs me. Then a guy drives off on the motorcycle to the far right. I follow him. He and then I go through the garage door. It automatically opens when we get close.

Next we are at this large complex with lots of people. We are on foot. Somehow we get separated. I go up on an escalator and Dad takes the one going down. There are lots of people on the elevators. A woman wants to give me these thin, plastic “sticks” and I say no. I get off on the top floor. There are rooms with different catagories of things. (I can’t remember what they were when I awoke). I worried about Dad and finding him.

Feeling: overwhelmed

I worked this dream with Susan and Bryn. Here is what I wrote: My father has come to visit-my “familiar” male. At the end of my dad’s life, I did take the lead. He lived eight days after his stroke. I think this dream has to do with what I am going through with Paul. I am relying on that same energy I had with my dad before his death. Finding a place for Dad/Paul is something in the future in waking life. Not remembering where I booked a place maybe has to do with not knowing where this will be. The man says I cannot park where two RV’s are parked is saying this is not a “fun” time or a carefree way to look at this. The garage-fixing an old car. Car=Paul? Two motorcycles parked with a narrow way through. Motorcycles are individual ways of going through life. They could represent Paul and I. A male energy shows me the way through and out of the garage. At the mall (being malled?) with lots of people(overwhelming). The woman with the straws could represent how Paul will become-low cognitive. I am resisting this. Dad goes down the escalator=Paul’s decent into Dementia? I go up. The three rooms with organized categories could represent having things arranged for both of us in the future.

Paul and I are watching someone’s little boy who is about one years old. It could be our grandson. There is a pool that is very deep. He crawls into the pool and goes down to the bottom. I have a blue bathing suit on and my glasses. ( or maybe contacts). I dive and swim down to the bottom (9-10 feet). The water is not very clear and it is hard to see. I rescue the boy.

A little while later, I sit next to Paul and ask where is the little boy. Paul is sitting on a bleachers. He doesn’t know. I panic and start looking for him. I get others to look as well. I worry that he got back into the water.