(Wednesday, September 17, 2025)
When I took off on my bike around lunchtime, I noticed the sixties-era BMW blue convertible I sometimes see parked in the neighbor’s driveway. When I was on the Lake Harriet trail, an older male biker and I saw that our red Specialized-brand bikes were identical. We had a quick chat. Later I biked past him a second time and we waved. The blue convertible drove past me on my way home along Harriet.
(Wednesday. September 17, 2025) waning crescent moon Leo / tarot eight of cups / Oracle Awakening
I move through a door that feels like the one in my old upstairs bedroom. The space I transition from is square and well designed and furnished. Sunny. The new space, also square, looks very much like my “dungeon” basement. Half of the space (where I stand in the dream) was remodeled decades ago. The far half is raw and dark.
I am entering the bright part of the room to do the remodel on my own. I can handle it. I basically need to add new drywall and put in fresh flooring. Then paint.
Before I begin, several younger people (family members? construction workers?) walk in the cheery door and head over to the dark, neglected part of the room. I follow them. The floor looks exactly like the rough stone surface in my waking basement. The walls are limestone. The floor has a crack that opens to a room below. “We can fix this with new flooring,” we say. We notice the far wall is covered with large plastic fabric, like the protection I use when I am painting. One of the young people removes it and we all gasp. Ceiling to floor windows are exposed that open to views of other large, several-story houses. We seem to be on the second floor. I know that this “dark space” will be a lot of work, more than I can do on my own. But we all want the project to begin.
At the end of the dream, I turn to my left and walk back a few feet from the others. I notice the old bathroom I had forgotten about. It needs help too. We will to add it to our list.
Day notes:
This morning, after Cullan dropped the kids off at school, we sat and had tea and coffee together. He mentioned that Wyn and Oona are happy that they now have separate bedrooms at Hillary’s house. “We will be working on that,” I said, and he agreed. We have discussed making the upper floor separate bedrooms for my grandkids, which means we either fix the basement or add a floor to the garage, where Chris and I will live. Interesting that there is a floor beneath the dream remodel (indicating a garage?). And that it looks exactly like the real basement. There is a square room and bathroom in the actual basement that would not be too complicated to remodel. The rest would be a lot of work because it needs a new cement floor and a covering for the stone walls.
I am very worried that Chris might be near the end. He had terrible blood lab results this month and because of those numbers he had to get more blood tests yesterday and today. He can barely walk, affected by anemia and neuropathy. One test result said that the number 1,200 indicates a 90% risk of heart failure. His number is 2,800. He is with a PT today and I asked him to discuss canes and walkers.
Wednesday, September 17: Chris’ eGFR was 14 yesterday and 16 today. Below 15 is stage 5 kidney disease. We texted his doctor asking if he will need dialysis soon.
(Monday, September 15, 2025)
I emailed my new therapist this morning about my cold and my sore throat, but she asked me to come anyway. What a phenomenal time together. About half of the hour we worked on my two new dreams (“A Grounded Healing Process” and “Detailed Chore For Processing Information”). Our discussions were both spiritual and psychological. Even when I talk about the mystical, multidimensional elements of my dreams, they seem very understandable to her. She is a brilliant human being. And she helps me dive much deeper into my conscious and unconscious self. I am grateful.
