Category: Denise

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Fragment: Dreaming Of Paul On Bonnie’s Birthday

(Monday, April 14, 2025) waning gibbous moon Scorpio / tarot seven of wands

I dream of a long conversation with Paul, Bonnie’s spouse, about dementia, his experience with Alzheimer’s, although in waking life he does not talk about it, at least with me. The dream is vague enough that when I wake up, I am not sure if we are talking in person or if I am entering his mind. A telepathic discussion.

Day notes:

I discovered this morning that my flying lucid dream had a prescient element at the end. I think the young dream girl from many decades ago is the actual woman who was going to build a mansion around 1885. She wanted to call it Rustic Lodge. She owned 20 acres, between 48th and 49th Avenues, and Pleasant and Stevens. Right by my present house and by the house Paul grew up in. Later she thought of having the house built in Hollywood instead, but it never happened.

I have Mayo appointments this Thursday and next Tuesday. On Tuesday I meet a new doctor to discuss genomes and semantic dementia.

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3/17/25 Deb Has Died

I am with a group of women. We are staying over night at a nice hotel in St. Cloud which has been updated. We eat in the Italian restaurant at the hotel. I eat a small pizza, but am still hungry. Someone gives me Deb’s spaghetti. I start to eat it and then am told that Deb has died. I go right into denial. I tell myself that I cannot grieve right now.

The women and I go to our rooms and sleep. The next morning, we get ready to leave. I look in the linen closet thinking I will change the sheets. I then realize, I am in a hotel and I do not have to change the sheets. We get into a van. I am driving. I slowly pull out of the parking place and into the traffic.

The main emotion is shock about Deb dying.

I worked a bit on this dream with my sister, Chris. Here is what I wrote:

If this were my dream I am with my feminine energy. I lived in St. Cloud for two years. It was a transitional time between living in Tower and the cities. St. Cloud is a conservative place and was not welcoming to Paul and I. (neither of us could find a good job). In the dream it is updated and looks good. I wonder if something in myself has changed for the better. A hotel is a temporary place to stay, sleep and eat. Maybe I am in a temporary state of some sort. I am hungry. A pizza doesn’t satisfy my hunger. Deb’s spaghetti is filling. Spaghetti is comfort food and pizza and spaghetti are Italian. Something foreign? Food is nurturing. Something about getting nurtured from what Deb gets nurtured from? Deb has died. I think of Deb as being very extroverted, positive and can be an overwhelming energy. Does this dream imply that the part of me that Deb represents needs to die? Or is it a warning to nurture myself more. Deb is an amazing cook in waking life. I am going to change the sheets. I love clean sheets in waking life. They feel like a renewal/new beginning. However, in the dream, I realize it is not my responsibility to change the sheets. I am driving the van, so I am in charge of my life.

Chris suggests I need to love/nurture myself more.

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Lucid Dream: Flying For My Soulmate

(Thursday, April 3, 2025) waxing crescent moon Gemini / tarot High Priestess

A very lucid dream with strong physical sensations. I am standing at the back of my Rustic Lodge house, in the three-season porch, wishing to find my soul mate. I decide to fly out into the universe. I fly through walls and closed windows and that makes me understand the dream is lucid. I feel the physical reality of the 3D elements I am flying through, but I must be in a different dimension, because nothing impedes me.

I fly towards the sky and the upper atmosphere of our planet. Outer space. I am focused on my search for my soul mate, nothing else. But very soon I feel I am complete, a full being. So I return to my home.

A female neighbor is outside, in the backyard connected to mine. I can tell it is decades in the past, because there are no garages, no fences. She chats with me like we are both adults, but I point out to her that she appears to be a child. She is resting on a swing-set.

Day notes:

The sensation of physical reality passing through my spirit is the most emotional part. In the dream I feel my soulmate within me, and realize I have no need to continue searching.