When I arrived home from my Mayo visit on Thursday afternoon, I rested on my blue velvet couch. Suddenly I had the sensation of transitioning from physical life. The feeling was so strong that tears came to my eyes, which rarely happens for me at this stage in my life. Grief, but not horror. Awareness of my upcoming travel across the bridge, to the other side.
1/17/25 Getting Married
I am going to get married to Paul again. I go to pick up my wedding dress. The woman at the shop says she can’t clean it. I was in the store waiting for it to be cleaned. The woman still charges me $2 and this makes me angry. She could have just told me she couldn’t do it.
I go to the church. I see Janet Little and say hi. There are people around. I climb these stairs to go to a room where I will put make-up on and get ready for photos. The church is nice and old.
Earlier I see a brother of the groom who will be the best man. I am an observer. He stands next to the groom. It is not Paul.
A scene where I am swimming on my back in the nude. I see I have too much fat on my belly. (true in waking life!)
Feeling: I am really not into the wedding. I am nonchalant. I am young.
1/15/25 Two Dreams: Teaching and Losing Markus
- I am a teacher. I am writing sentences on a blackboard and leaving blanks where words would go. The students have to fill in the blanks. The students are young adults. Both the students and I enjoy ourselves. There is a woman who has a sheet cake. I start to put things away. A scene where a woman buries a statue upside down in the ground.
2. Paul and I have Markus and Rowan. They are both the same size. I see them ahead of me walking side by side. We are to have Markus first for a day. And then Rowan for a day. Paul, Markus and I stop by the beach. Markus goes down on these rocks and I fill a bucket with sand. I see some white minerals in the water. I look up and cannot see Markus. I yell his name. I ask Paul to find him. He doesn’t get up right away. I plead with him. I think there were other kids around. Did he follow them? Did he fall in the water? Did he go back to where Rowan is? Markus is around four years old. (in waking life he is two years old)